Friday, July 29, 2011

(^_o)

I stayed up all night in an intense skype call with master
The call included lots of screaming and firey eyes
And many hiding attempts under my blanket escaping from masters fire..
I wasn't quite hiding from myself but rather from master
So scary...
He tryed to scare me by saying he would dissown me if I messaged deadweights again
Deff served the purpose! So scared...
After he told me I wanted to cry...
I wanted to puke..
I wanted to just run away ~.~
Hiding undermy blanket telling myself not to cry..
Don't get sick..don't run away be strong..
Masters firey thing went away after a while..
When he's mad I can see..his eyes will change shape pre mad..
Then full blown mad the full shape is formed! Ahh...not cute
Then..later when I asked him about disowning me..
He got emotional..
Master shoudve had a blanket like kitty!~
I felt bad...why did I give him emotions ughhzz
I know I shouldn't feel bad that I caused emotions
I wonder if he always got emotional in the past with his last girlfriends...
I'm his first slave so its a bit hard to compare xD
Master didn't mean he would dissown me..
But when he said it..I felt used..
How could he make me believe in fairy tales and tell me I'm the only one..
Then he could so easily say he would dissown me.. like I wasn't special just the average slave that you could easily find..
I told master that I won't forget what he said
I know its not true but that feeling I don't want to forget
I need to do better so he won't ever say it again..
I'm special :/ not common I swear
I deleated all my deadweights..
Anyone who even spoke one word of dislike of master or pressured me or just not quality friends
After deleating only one of my bdsm friends were quality...in fact he loves master and he reads my blog!~~
He's a nice guy he helps me with math and never expects anything from me except for more blog updates :p
Haha master allowed me to cum but I have to txt him thank you
I went to sleep at6am!
I masturbated so tired, and cummed quickly!~
Then I closed my eyes and imagined I sent a txt to master
A cute poem..
Around 10am I woke up! Fuck, I didn't txt master
So sent txt then back to sleep
The poem was beautiful (atleast I thought so)
But too sleepy to end the poem beautifully haha
Master said it made him happy though
I like when I can make him smile!~~!
But when I woke up at 12pm it was weird..I felt free
I had 0 messages!
Nobody complaining about. Their life
No annoying messages from anyone..
The world looks more beautiful today!~
I've been released, not worrying if erik has money for college
Or about his drunk dad!
Or about his future because he can't keep a job
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Just my life with master!~~
Ahh feels good
Theirs a piano song...it explains my love for master
Simple but beautiful
Light but heavy...
Carefree but restricted..
Not appreciated by everyone but special to those who understand!~
The melody is perfect!~
I wanted to show master a sample..
I've had brief piano lessons..I only know how to hold my fingers...
It was hard I praticed 3hrs stright untill my hand started to cramp
And all I could think of was B F B C F...#A C ughzz...
The recording I sent master wasn't perfect!~
He said it was good but I know he was lying :/
Its cool bc I was up 4am-6am and I praticed and I'm doing greatz!!
I wanna finish bf finals
Its not a popular piano song...
Its chinese and I..can't read the tittle :p
Some people when they listen to it..
They say its romantic!
Others say its depressing
And then other stupid people say it sucks..
I wonder which catagory it will fall into for master...
I think its romantic, Romanticly simple :)
When I get married,I have the wedding all planned outz ^_^
I'm gonna play a song dedicated to my husband!~ and he will do the same!~~~ ahhh the best part of the wedding ^_^
whenever me and joppi eat lunch or something..we always decide " Wedding worthy?" its almost always no :p but can't help but ask each other ^_o
sometimes I feel bad..I am friends with someone, that I shouldn't be friends with.. and the worst part is that If she knew about all this..she would hate me foreverz, I guess you can say our relationship is going to end in 2012, leaving joppi and starting a bimbo life with master how perfect everything i wanted <3

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