Thursday, July 7, 2011

Ne-Yo

Master asked kitty to pick a song that describes her love for him Master picked a bright fun song but then kitty picked a sad song with suicide at the end..even thou the end is sad it displayed kittys emotions..I nervously sent him the link it felt like I was asking someone out for the first time wondering if he will accept my feelings..Master did not accept my feelings he was like AUGHHHH WHY DO YOU SEND ME A SAD SONG and he said this is crap..and he just hated the song I felt rejected I felt like screaming and crying and hiding under my bed..Master tryed to explain but I couldnt read it..I read it and then didnt want to read so I just sumarized..It was too late I was rejected by my master for having strong emotions that scared him..I shouldnt have strong emotions I should stop..He doesnt even love me yet I can't even be introduced propperly yet I need to weaken my emotions..After the song master got sad because he thinks I am sad being with him and he has a problem with boobies..Master does have a problem with boobies but that's the only way he sees himself happy before I continue here is the song

Jo Gyu Mahn-I'll give you everything
Normal=lyrics
Bold=My emotions behind

I could never see why you would ever meet me
Thats why I cant open my eyes
If I open my eyes you might disapear, this might all be a dream
I'm so grateful you came to me
I am so lucky you came into my life
Were you lonely all this time
Were you alone waiting for someone to open up your hear
I can guess by your thin face
Freshmen year Master lost a lot of weight and was depressed
Cry when you feel like it
It's ok to cry you dont have to be strong in front of me
get rid of your pain with your tears
Cry untill all your pain is gone I don't mind
In my arms we should soothe each others pain
Together as we grow together we will soothe each other pains you don't have to do it alone anymore
I may not be good enough
Right now I am not good enough for Master,I can't proudly be displaced and our relationship wont be accepted
But I will give you the rest of my love
Right now even though I am not good enough I will give you all the love I have right now
Were you tired all this time?
Were you tired of finding someone you can open your hear to?
I may not be good enough but I will give you everything

I wanted a song with our past and future..Master talks about past and future a lot..this song talks a lot about how hard it has been to find someone a tired lonely road..Master says he lives in fear sometimes living in fear can be lonely trying so hard to help everyone and master couldn't open his heart up to a lot of people but kitty can see some of masters heart...a lyric that seems like it won't fit master is " your face looks thin" but it fits! Master was alone the first year in the usa and he lost a lot of weight hating the food here but the lyric that ties this whole song into why I picked this was " Right now I may not be good enought but I will give you the rest of my love" I feel this not good enough emotion a lot!
Wtf is master doing dating me..having me as his kitty????
1. I am not chinese
2.I am not beautiful like everyone else on cm..or on his fb
3. I don't have big boobies
4.Age issues causes emberassment to master
5.I am not at the same intellegance level..
I am below average and if master searched harder he can find people that fits all his criteria!
But he won't ever find a kitty like me..a kitty with plane emails who is always posotive(ish) loves asian culture! And more!~
I can't give him looks, beauty or his friends jealous of me..I can give him love :) All the love I can send!~~~~~~~~
When I get big boobies I can't wait for master to say I love you :D
Master said today..kitty I truely love you..does he love me without boobies
Master said without big FF boobies I am only worthy of a fuck or two and maybe one date
Even though I am worth that much to master sexually I will do my best tim improve so overtime I can be of more worth :)
I hope one day..master can look at me without thinking about boobies or boobies in the future..just look at me and my personality and see that I am not so bad and that he loved me a lot more then he thought..
When master worries about me and family situations It makes me feel like he cares more and more about me each passing day!~
So lame to think that way..

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