Today I spoke to master for a loooong loong time on skype! We played games! Sung songs laughed a lot fangirled a bit even made skits :D quite fun! But then my best friend joppi came online and I decided that me master and joppi should allt three way chat! It was really really awkward joppi can be a bit awkward but after a couple of masters bad jokes it went ok master was talking in riddles to joppi complex sentences that made no sense it made my mind flip and it made joppis mind spin the only difrence is that I understood what masster was saying but joppi did not understand one bit I found myself translating what he said into simple words lol since when could I translate masters complex language? But after about 20ish mins master made joppi sad because of something he said that hurt her feelings I was instantly spammed with :( and also spammed with he is so mean bwahhh :( :( -_- I laughed at the situation and master laughed too but it really wasn't a laughing situation master could have appologised to joppi even if he did not mean it idk how I feel about master hurting my friends =/ I trust master around my friends and to see my friends I also trust that he wouldn't doo something to hurt my friends but why did he hurt joppi? I feel a bit bad as a friend I should have protected joppi a bit more like how master protects his friends..
I told master my biggest flaw about mysself is my foolishness but after thinking on it..I kinda like that flaw having such a energetic child heart has a lot of perks mm..my biggest flaw really is I can be too critical to the point where it can break me down
Master friend is moving into the hotel today ahh I'm gonna miss seeing master on webcam!
Master wants massages..theirs a class for that at school I can take it for free..mmm maybe I should consider
I really want to call master oppa! But since I never talk to him in a vanilla sensse it doesn't matter..the only oppa I have is onew oppa but I don't want onew oppa to be my oppa anymore :( master has to be my oppa! *sighs*
If I say masters middle and last name and add oppa it sounds cute :D or I could just say oppa!!~~ haha
Today master asked me a few bdsm questions and I will answer these questions now
how did desire start out?
how did i start desiring to be a slave?
why do u want to be molded?
what aspects do you wish to mold?
how does it affect you?
How did my desire start out I was into truth or dare! I played it every day until everyone around me hated truth or dare I always chose dare one day I decided to google truth or dare and I clicked the firstlink that said truth or dare it was getdare and on getdare their was many dares! I tried out so many but after I tried out the dares many times I got borred so I signed up for the getdare forum it was so big! So I just stuck to the chat their was a guy on the chat that I really liked something about him was soo intoxicating lol I was so young and so intoxicated lol I read all his posts but it was a bit complex at the time and did all his dares and made sure to talk to him everttime on chat and then one day he gave me his yahoo messenger I was so happy when we got on yahoo messenger he asked me if I was a dom or a sub?I wasn't quite sure..he explained what it ment and I subbed for him once it sucked but at that time I thought it was the best! But I enjoyed domming him more so I dommed him we switched forr a while until both of us developed feelings
I dated him for 2 days (lol was I really that bad of a gf??) After we broke up I went on the chat in search for a dom I met a nice dom a mysterious dom that wouldn't show me his face or let me hear his voice or get to know him but he carried a warm personality and his warmness showed me how much I wanted to be a sub he was into bringing people to the edge but I never understood what he ment until one day he was domming me and he gave me two options break one of my. Hard limits or he was going to stop being my master was have been master and sub for almost a year I cried when he told me my options but I decided to break my pee limit after I broke my pee limit he made me pee on the ground and then lick it up I cried in tears begging him to stop and he said no I cried and cried and cried and cried in but he told me to hurry and lick it up or else I might lick it and die I cried harder after all this crying my head was starting to hurt and I felt worse then dog shit not to mention my master hated me I felt a bit light headed master told me to stop licking it and go to sleep he would rather watch another sub on webcam anyways...after that me and that master broke up but for months that situation never left me and I still felt worse then dog shit my teeth got whiter I brushed it sooo often lol it took a long peiod for me to feel somewhat human and it wasn't till about a year did I feel like a person and not just dog shit...but right after that incident I started domming I wanted to be the best dom and have my own website I had big hopes for my bdsm career I was good at what I did but after a while domming did not feel right what I really wanted to do was sub. Domming was more or less an escape from what happend to me
But ever since I first started subbing I've been into being molded I have been in the molding phases of many things one master wanted to mold me into a dog another a doll another a barbie another a baby mmm a nerd a kajira!(quite intresting) molded into a mindless schoolgirl many molds but out of all the molds my favoriate mold was the barbie although I wasn't a barbie for long because that master was a 56yr old creep o.o ew...I like the idea of being molded it can relate to giving up my pleasures to please master exsample sneakers are a pleasure they are comfy and stylish and pratical compared to heels which can be painful by being molded I am slowly giving up things I like to please master
I feel satisfied when I can please master I also feel excited that one day master will look at me and he will see everything he has dreamed of master is making me into a bimbo being made into a bimbo is far from easy many people try to be made into a bimbo and fail epicly! Its an expirence it will affect me by creating family issues with implants but I am not that worried about family issues I said this to master many times if I never met master I would have gotten implants I have a list of things I wish to do to change my body I guess you could say deep down I always had a bimbo intrest (fetish?) Ever since I was younger i wanted to work at hooters and have big boobs and wear skimpy clothing my mom says I have too much daisy duke shorts lol but I don't think my shorts are short enough master will be the judge :D
Is it really every boys dream to have a threesome? Its weird if I want a threesome lol?
Two guys one girl? Or two girls one guy??
Mm...two girls one guy sounds hotter but what's hotter then hearing about threesomes is hearng about my expirences with girls! Yayyy!~
I dated a few girls off on and then off again nothing too serious and never did any kissing how would I explain to my kids that my first kiss came from a girl? But one summer there was a girl she lived nearby she would come over every day during summer she praticly lived at my house my parents work a lot so we were often home alone when we were home alone me and the girl would get beers and vodaka and take shots after we took a few shots we would take shots off each other lol and after we got bored we would take off our clothes and give each other lapdances sometimes I would give her a bad strip tease haha we would have so much fun stripping everyday and taking shots we would always find ourself in my bed naked with the door locked did anything ever happen in the bed?!!??? I would love to tell you haha but I really don't know by the time we were naked we were so wasted me and her spent most of the summer like this drinking stripping touching each other slapping asses ending up naked in bed cuddeling haha but one day the girl told me let's buy some drugs and have some fun under the covers I said NO to drugs :D she got upset and we never spoke again but sometimes I get cute facebook messages from her is that a consolation? I guess I didn't really do much with girls ha I'm not bi but I can appreciate beauty and perfect ass and boobs so if master asked me to do a threesome I guess with the right girl and maybe a few shots id be down for it lol
Theirs something in my heart that I need to tell master I fear our relationship can't grow if I don't tell him but I am so scared that master won't accept me..but a part of me thinks maybe master would understand person X said that the situation happend to master but idk..she was prob just lying anyways :/
Another thing COMPLETLY diffrent...
What do you do when your heart and mind tell you to do two diffrent things?
who do you listen to your heart or mind?
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