Master says before he dies he wants to see space..he wants to feel connected to the whoole universe but I simply can't understand why space?why would he want to see a vast ammount of nothingness along with a kajillion stars..I'm not sure what I want to do before I die
Master really likes nature things..I feel bad I hate nature I like looking from pictures and also looking at it out the window but to expirence it to breathe it to feel it..I don't like snakes..in fact I'm terified if I ever found a snake in a food item I would never eat food..one time i found a snake in the grass when I was little after that I never went outside again in the grass..I don't go to outside picnics or to the park..I am really scared that a snake will bite me and paraylisis will occour quickly..I. don't quite remember the black and red are dangerous thing about snakes so I just fear them all even garden snakes in japan I drunk snake wine..the lady said sumimasen hebi wian ononomi desu ka? Or something likee that I didn't know what wian was it sounded like wine and I. Drinked it my first eveer taste of wine......and then I looked at where she poured me the drink and it was a biiig snake floating in the thinggyy can I puked...
I said gomen gomen many many mannnny time..
Master wants to die with a million memories of the person he loves more specificily me..I really want to have more then a million memories though like a kajilllion soo much memories that their no longer is a word for it!
Recently I have been having this feeling this feeling to serve with all my heart into it not half ass and not flakeyy
Master is really nice he hasent gotten mad at me for not following up with workouts but tomarrow the workouts will begin I want to serve master and this is the first step! Master requires
At least one hour of workout every two days
A total of five hours of workout in a week
Maintain/reach a weight between 120-140
Always keep my body shaved and wax excluding facial hair
Talk as kitty whenever talking to master
Hips should be curavcous and bubbly with no signs of fat
Masturbate four times daily in a time span of eight hours
Master requires other things that I will not include in this post but I am well aware of everything master requires and wants
Masturbate anytime anywhere project!!! Well now I am actually only required to do one photo the photos requirments are..
1.Buy a sex toy! Status: working on it! I am quite emberassed to buy it from my local store and quite nervous that my parents will check my mail but they never check my mail but what if...
2.understand how to use and clean toy! Status: I actually have done some research on this not extensivly but to a good extent I will continue my research until this project is complete!
3.Masturbate in school somewhere take pictures.. Status:on school vacation! No pictures have been takenn
4.masturbate anywhere in the mall status:haven't been to the mall in a bit I mostly went to stores in plazas and what not but not the actual mall
5.masturbate anywhere outside! Status:this one is a bit difficult I don't really know any semiprivate places along with no grass...
6.masturbate anywhere indoors in a sitting place such as a resturant Status:..............................
Today I admited to master that I wasn't really intrested in bdsm when I met him if you read my first posts it is super super supper obvious! It wasn't till haru haru that my views on him slowly begun to change in the begining of soy milk thhats when I truly begun to realise how special and wonderful master is..but it wasn't till chains where I realised that my overlook about master has changed..but master knew this the whole time maybe that's why master gave me annoying reflecting assignments and wanted to get rid of me because he was unsure of my intentions..at first master is really scaryy I would always say..."Master wa kowai ne? Or sometimes just "kowai ne" which means master is scary right? I actually don't like talking about others in english :o so in my head I always say it ina difrent laguage I think it increases my vocabulary!I want to become fluent in a few languages so it is important that I can use the vocabulary in a real life situation. Promptly! Another thing I do is if something is hot instead of saying..hot hot hot!
I sayy atsui atsui atsui atsui! Now it has become almost instant reaction to me hah its ok if nobody knows what the fudgecakes I'm saying rofl even when I'm in pain I say itai! But notice how everything I said was japanese :o I need to fcous more on other things whenever I talk to myself I always say alright in korean I only know bad things in korean like crazy girl and I'm going crazy shut up I'm crying I'm busy rofl and sorry!
Cultural sensitivity :)
I want to be culturaly sensitive towards others and -all- cultures when I become a doctor long from now and I ever expirence a forigner I want to be able to tell them their medical condition in which ever language they are most comfterable in..I might not be able to say everything in their language but I do wish to be able to say most things..another thing is deaf culture is a culture that nobody really explores into but deaf culture intrests me and I wish to be fluent in sign language it might take a while but I feel that everyone should know sign language the ammount of deaf people right now are few but in years to come this number will skyy rocket! As a doctor I know I only have a good seven years..but in this short time I hope I can be as culturaly sensitive as possable :) not just asian cultures but all cultures :)
Morals everyone has it but who upholds it?someone who can uphold their morals no matter what that kind of person I admire..the kind of person who fights for what the believe in even if it means they have to sacrifice everything..I really wish I can be that kind of person theirs a quote...it says god puts some people in your life to test you and once the test is over you will never see it again the results of the test could change everything though....a girl came into my life to test me a girl that reminds me a bit of myself depending on others..but once she gave me the test to test if I uphold my morals I ran so fast from my morals and then master insits that I break another moral..no matter how much convinivng I try master is stuck on his decision
Am I really doing the right thing? I can't do my exams with lingering thoughts..:/
If master ever fell in love with that creep girl again its game over for me...I wonder where fate shall bring us will I follow. My morals?will master fall in love again? Does fate even exsisit?
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