Lucy

SoTYesterday and most of this morning I was depressed and confused
But all my emotions changed this morning :o
Master emailed me a picture of him with a slight smile
He was really yellow :o
But after that picture something changed inside of me
I just became really happy
Master always makes me happy :)
The picture just made me realise well why am I worrrying if he hates pre boobs?
According to masters definition he loves me!~ I'm pre boobs with plans for boobies
So shouldn't I just be happy that he will be happy+be in love?
Two for one kinda deal!
Master explained this but I was too distraught to even care
I felt more love towards master and more loyal just because I felt a tingly ahh I wanna serve feeling?
Master really cares for me he was worried about my diet and demanded a full report! and he even researched more on my diet awwe..so cute
I felt so loved :)
Master shows his love not by screaming I love you!~~ but in small actions that builds overtime
Exsamples: College excel, Saying my writing is crappy, Helping me a computer noob with laptop, restrictions on cm people, Sending me pictures sometimes, messaging that he is alive after plane, keeping his promises any more!~
But Master never treats me like a "girlfriend" but only like a kitty..He never says " I love you Ashley!~" But he will say I love you kitty!~ I really can't explain how I feel like he loves me as a slave..
When master is drunk he is super horny..master has been horny recently :o maybe there is a girl in miami that's teasing him :o I feel bad I can't help his horny levels he doesn't think of me in a sexual way at the momment just quick fuck
Which is fine for now I guess
I got a new computer I let master pick it :o
I put so much trust into him picking one
I haven't placed that must trust into anyone befores :o
Computers are like superz personal
Master finally got a taste of the bs kitty goes through everyday
A long time ago master thought kitty was spoiled
Kitty doesn't concider herself spoiled but rather she DESERVEs all the good things that comes her way because she went through so much shit -_-
Master picked one awesome computer online that was ugly :o
But kitty couldn't buy bc her parents said online computers are used
Etc. Etc.
Master was like RAWRRRRRRRrrz
He had a lot of rawring emotions going on
But finally we picked one after many failed trys lol
But..when I went to the store I wasn't sure which it was :o
And when I asked someone they just told me to read because they were new and reccomend me a sony vsio?
Kitty found the laptop herself :D with lots of help from master
Aghh..but the laptop is so finger print magnet huge problem for me
But the laptop is cute :)
And I feel like it has everything I will need space, cuteness, graphics etc.
Master picked great!~
Now I can carry a little peice of master everywhere I go :D
The first song I listened to on my computer was I need a girl
Sounded awesome because beats audio =D
I wonder if master knew it came with beats...
I really like beats its stylish and hip and sounds great! But I'm not a audiophile so..
Master promised me we will skype together but he drinked a lot..
At first when I heard master drink I was really sad he promised but yet he was so wasted
:/ I hate when people break promises rawrrrr
But master called and fixed everything!~ just hearing masters voice makes me feel better
My brother wanted to talk to master :o I was nervous...
But they seemed like they were hitting it off pretty well
After I hung up with master my brother said master has the permission to ride in the car :D
Hhaha..not that it means much to master? When kittys friends don't have permission in car kitty will prob have to pay -_-
Master said because he broke his promise he will sing I need a girl
*squeel* ahh I can't believe he remembers...mmm but how come master never sings onew songs :(
Nuna nomu yeppo (Replay) or forever more :D haha I think forever more is too romantic for master to sing!~
Its in english its sooo cute I love onews cover I think its a english song?
But I'm still happy with anything!~yayy
Today Is joppis birthday now she is old..
Joppi is my best friend and on the TYPICAL day..we hang out for 9hrs
We plan weddings together!~
Watch asian dramas talk about master study together!~
And everything you can think of..if you seee Joppi 98% of the time you will see me :D
That's just how it is we are best friends coming from two seperate cultures joppi is pure as can be..and I am an intresting mix of bdsm and purity :o
But for whatever reason I didn't buy her a present again ~.~
Everytime I buy her a present from the azn store she just hates it
So instead I bought a present from best buy..
I wasn't sure how much of the 100usd giftcard I would need to upgrade my computer...
And master was soo conviently sleeping
So I bought a gift that cost 30usd I got her a mp3 player...
Agh soo tired of hearing her complain shit to me as her outlet of emotions( ~.~)
But the problem is..last time I got her a fancy ipod her mom said she must return!
Because I spent too much (which I honestly did not) so..I got her a crappy looking ipod
That can hold 2000 songs!~ and easy to use since she is bad with technology
Now she can drain herself in music!~~~~~
Plus now I can buy her headphones for christmas :D
I never spend 30usd on a gift unless they are my boyfriend or parents etc.
But heh she's my bestfriend she deserved a good gift
So..now I have 69usd to spend on upgrading my computer
I know that I need a cooling fan for sure! I wonder if I can get more memory with the rest?
Master said the best way to handle schooling is through law..
But I think I'm gonna try some psychology tricks!
Let's seee where it takes me!~~~

Medi-

Phase one
-inital consultation
-History& physical exam with vital signs and EKG
-Weight& body fat analysis
-Phentermine pill
-Medi-Weightloss Colon clenser pills
-Fatburning pills
-Medi-weightloss clinics vita super multivitamin
-Medi-Weightloss Clinics Calcium 4 blend
-keitosis strips
-B12 shot
-B6 shot
-food scale


Phentermine and taken daily at 8am
The colon clenser is taken nightly before bed
And fatburning pills is taken 3 times a day with food
Vitamin super multivitamin taken daily 8am
Calcium 4 blend taken daily 8am


Side effects of diet
-Dizziness
-Headaches
-Hunger
-Constipation

**Constipation will occur if the colon clenser is not being used

Vita super Multivitamin- Provides essential vitamins and minerals
Fat burner-Boost energy, accelerate matabolism, suppresses appetite and is free of stimulats
Calcium 4 blend- blend of 4 types of calcium for strong bones
Colon cleanser-Maintains optimal bowel functions while detox body
Enteric coated omega 3-Helps provide essential supplements
Phentermine-Appetiite suppresent

Diet plan

During the First week only proteins can be eaten
During the second week proteins and vegtables can be eaten
During the third week proteins,vegtables and fruits can be eaten

Odyssey

today I realised that without big plastic boobies I am worthless
It doesn't matter how much I love him
It doesn't matter how frequently I talk to him
I can send one million planeletters..
I can make bentos everyday..
I can give him great sex all day
But without boobies I am of no value to Master
I am valuable if I desire to get boobies
I am trash if I have no desire for boobies
Because of this value master will make sure nobody takes me away
I originally thought he was overprotective to show he loved me
But instead it was just protecting his product
I feel dissapointed
I knew there was a catch
Without boobies I'm not even worthy of a date with master
I try so hard to be good for master
I care about him and try to understand him ~.~
But it's cool I understand I am just a vessel for masters fantasys
I should not expect anything more then that
I feel my efforts are futile..no matter how hot I look or how cute I am
I will be a vessel untill I get implants

The List (again)

Willingness quick-key:
? Don't understand this item.
* or # I will do with current sex partner only.
NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).
0 No desre
1 Don't want to do, but will
2 Willing to do, but has no special appeal.
3 Willing to do happily
4 Excited to do
5 WILD TURN-ON, would like doing if master wished


Abrasion : 1/1/1
Age play : 1/1/2
Anal sex : 2/0/2
Anal plugs (small) : */0/2
Anal plugs (large) :*/0/2
Anal plug (public, under clothes): */0/3
Animal roles : 1/#/1
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) :? /? /?
Aromas : 5/5/F
Asphyxiation :NO/no/no
Auctioned for charity : NO..well only if it was for a few hours then 2/no never/1
Ball stretching :N/A
Bathroom use control :5/5/5
Bestiality :NO/#
Beating (soft) : 1/3/4
Beating (hard) : no/1/2
Blindfolds : 5/5/5
Being serviced (sexual) : 5/5/5
Being bitten : *.../#/1
Breast/chest bondage : 4/5/5
Breath control : 0/0/5*
Branding : 0/0/0
Boot worship : 2/3/5
Bondage (light) :5/5/5
Bondage (heavy) :2/4/5
Bondage (multi-day) : 2/0/5
Bondage (public, under clothing) : 3/3/5
Breast whipping : 0/0/0
Brown showers (scat) : NO/#/NO
Cages (locked inside of) : 3/3/5
Caning : 0/1/2
Castration fantasy : 0/3/4/****/maybe
Catheterization : 1/0/5
Cattle prod (electrical toy) : NO/#/1
Cells/Closets (locked inside of) :1/3/5
Chains :5/5/5
Chamber-pot use :NO/#/#
Chastity belts :5!!!!/5/5
Chauffeuring :5 :)/5/5
Choking :0/#/4
Chores (domestic service) :4/5/5
Clothespins :0/1/*
Cock rings/straps :N/A
Cock worship :5/5! /5
Collars (worn in private) :5/5/5
Collars (worn in public) :3*/3/3
Competitions (with other subs) :5!!/5! /5
Corsets (wearing casually) :5/5/5
Corsets (trained waist reduction):5/5/5
Cross-dressing :0/0/0
Cuffs (leather) :5/5/5
Cuffs (metal) :5/5/5
Cutting :NO/0/1
Diapers (wearing) :no/#/#
Diapers (wetting) :no/#/#
Diapers (soiling) :no/#/#
Dilation :no/0/4
Dildoes :5/5/5
Double penetration :5/5/5
Electricity :no/#/1
Enemas (for cleansing) :0/*/5
Enemas (retention/punishment) :0/1/5
Enforced chastity : 5!/5/5
Erotic dance (for audience) : 1/4/5
Examinations (physical) :5/4?/5
Exercise (forced/required) :2/4/5
Exhibitionism (friends) :no/5/5
Exhibitionism (strangers) :2/4/5
Eye contact restrictions :1*/1/5
Face slapping :0/1/1
Fantasy abandonment : no/no/no
Fantasy rape :no/no/no
Fantasy gang-rape :no/no/no
Fear (being scared) : 0/#/1
Fisting (anal) : 0/0/0
Fisting (vaginal) :0/0/0
Flame play : NO/no never/no
Following orders :5/5/5
Food play (cucumbers, sorbet...) :5/5/5
Foot worship :1/#/5
Forced bedwetting :3/1/5
Forced dressing :3/5/5
Forced eating :1*/1/4
Forced homosexuality :0/1?/5
Forced heterosexuality : 0/1?/5
Forced masturbation :5/5
Forced nudity (private) :5/5
Forced nudity (around others) :NO/2
Forced servitude :5/5/5
Forced smoking :NO/no/no
Full head hoods :0/1/5
Gags (cloth) : 3/5/5
Gags (inflatible) :3/5/5
Gags (phallic) :4/5/5
Gags (rubber) :4/5/5
Gags (tape) :2/5/5
Gas masks :0/0/3
Gates of Hell (male) :N/A
Genital sex :5/5/5
Given away to another Dom (temp) :NO/no/no
Given away to another Dom (perm) :NO/no/no
Golden showers :0/no/no
Gun play :NO/no/no
Hairbrush spankings :2/2/5
Hair pulling :0/3/4.5
Hand jobs (giving) :5/5/5
Hand jobs (receiving) :N/A
Harems (serving w/other subs) : /NO/no/no
Harnessing (leather) :
Harnessing (rope) :
Having food chosen for you :3/4/5
Having clothing chosen for you :5/5/5
Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus) :5/5/5
Head (rcv fellatio/cunnilingus) :5/5/5
High heel wearing :5/5/5
High heel worship :na?
Homage with tongue (non-sexual) :?
Hoods :1/1/5
Hot oils (on genitals) :1/1/5
Hot waxing :*/1/5
Housework (doing) :4/5/5
Human puppy dog :0/1/5
Humiliation (private) :5/5/5
Humiliation (public) :4/4/5
Hypnotism :5/5/5
Ice cubes :4/5/5
Immobilization :3/4/5
Infantilism :?
Initiation rites :?
Injections :0/no..
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage:5/5/5
Interrogations :0?
Kidnapping :0?/NO/no
Kneeling :3/5**Has trouble kneeling for long periods**
Knife play :no/no/no
Leather clothing :5/5/5
Leather restraints :5/5/5
Lectures for misbehavior :0/0/4
Licking (non-sexual) :* wtf but 1/5
Lingerie (wearing) :5/5/5
Manacles & irons :?
Manicures (giving) :5!/5/5
Massage (giving) :5/5/5
Massage (receiving) :5/5/5
Medical scenes :0/0/5
Modeling for erotic photos :5/5/5
Mouth bits :?
Mummification :?
Name change (for scene) :5/5/5
Name change (legal, permanant) :no/5/5
Nipple clamps :0/1/2
Nipple rings (piercings) :0/5/5
Nipple play/"torture" :0/1ish../1
Nipple weights :0/no/nno
Oral/anal play (rimming) :1/5/5
Over-the-knee spanking :1/4/5
Orgasm denial :5!/5/5
Orgasm control :5/5/5
Outdoor scenes :0/3 if snake free.../5 snakefree
Outdoor sex :5 :D/5/5
Pain (mild) :0/2/5
Pain (medium) :0/1/5
Pain (severe) :0/0/0
Persona training (in scene) :4/4/5
Personality modification (RL) :0/5?/5
Phone sex (serving Dom) :1/5/5
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends):1/5/5
Phone sex (commercial provider) :1/1/5
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce):4/5/5
Piercing (permanent) :4/5/5
Plastic surgery :5/5/5
Prison scenes :0/0/0
Prostitution (public pretense) :no/no/no
Prostitution (actual) :no/no/no
Pony slave :no/1/5
Public exposure :no/5/5
Punishment Scene :no/5/5
Pussy/cock whipping :5/5/5
Pussy worship :n/a
Riding crops :4/3/5
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.):0/o/0
Rituals :4/5/5
Religious scenes :0/0/0
Restrictive rules on behavior :5/5/5
Rubber/latex clothing :2/5/5
Rope body harness :2/2/5
Saran wrapping :2/2/4
Scarification :no..../no/no
Scratching - getting :0/0/0
Sensory deprivation :5/5/5
Serving :5/5/5
Serving as art :5/5/5
Serving as ashtray :NO/no/no
Serving as furniture :3/4/5
Serving as a maid :5/5/5
Serving as toilet (urine) :no?/no/no
Serving as toilet (feces) :NO/no/no
Serving as waitress/waiter :5/5/5
Serving orally (sexual) :5/5/5
Serving other doms (supervised) :0/1/5
Serving other doms (unsupervised):0/0/5
Sexual deprivation (short term) :5/5/5
Sexual deprivation (long term) :5/5/5
Shaving (body hair) :5? I mean i like to shave?/5/5
Shaving (genital hair) :5/5/5
Shaving (head hair) :0 No/no/no
Skinny-dipping :5/5/5
Sleep deprivation :3/4/5
Sleepsacks :?
Slutty clothing (private) :5/5/5
Slutty clothing (public) :5/5/5
Spandex clothing :2/5/5
Spanking :1/2/5
Speech restrictions (when, what) :1/1/5
Speculums (anal) :?
Speculums (vaginal) :?
Spitting :?
Spreader bars :5/5/5
Standing in corner :1/1/5
Stocks :1/1/5
Straight jackets :1/1/5
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) :5/5/5
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) :5/5/5
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) :2/3/5
Strapping (full body beating) :0/0/0
Suspension (upright) :0/5/5
Suspension (inverted) :4/5/5
Suspension (horizontal) :2/5/5
Supplying new partners for Dom : 0/NO/no
Swallowing feces : NO/no/no
Swallowing semen :5/5/5
Swallowing urine :No/no/no
Swapping (with one other couple) :no/mm no/5
Swinging (multiple couples) :3?/no/5
Tampon training (in ass) :1/1/5
Tattooing :0/no
Teasing :5/5/5
TENS Unit (electrical toy) :?
Thumbcuffs (metal) :?
Tickling :2/4/5
Triple penetration :5/5/5
Urethral sounds (metal rods) :?
Uniforms :2?/5/5
Including others :no/no/5
Vaginal dildo :5/no/5
Verbal humiliation :5/5/5
Vibrator on genitals :5/5/5
Violet Wand (electricial toy) :5/5/5
Voyeurism (watching others) :3/3/5
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) :2/1/5
Video (watching others) : 3/2/5
Video (recordings of you) :2/4/5
Water torture :0?/0/1
Waxing (hair removal) :2/4/5
Wearing symbolic jewelery :5/5/5
Weight gain (forced) :NO/1/no
Weight loss (forced) :4/5/5
Whipping :1/2/2
Wooden paddles :1/2/4
Wrestling :0/3 could be fun?/5

Waist-30.6
Hip-35
Legs-23

Supersonic

Ahh I want to join the tango club!~ I want to wear a red dress with dramatic makeup and dance this passionate dance!~~ I want to show the world all the passion I have :D most schools allow non univ students to join the club :D me and master can dance!~? But he will prob be busy working no time for dancing xD


Master is heavily against chopstick feeding my guy friends it is too romantic too personal :o when master visits his friends I always think he chopstick feeds them lol I never knew he was so against it! This picture looks like two friends feeding each other!~ I want to do this with my friend also we can swap food lol he can try my chicken and I will try his hamburger sushi!~ but this activity is banned :p



This is what I want to ddo with master!~ feed him his bento box and he will smile and say ahhhh!~~~~~ feed me kitty and I want breast milk also!~

I have so much ideas I can't wait to do them all!~
Master thinks I am not worried about doing well in school but I know
if I get a bad gpa my parents will kill me
But I can't help wanting to join a million clubs ~.~
so much dancing clubs I want to join but I'm not good w/dancing (oops!)
I get so excited when I see a cool club so here's my club list
1.snowboard/skii club
2.kpop club!~***
3.ASA
4.dragonboat team***
5.lion dancing!~***
6.Tango!~
7.Medical volunteer club/research
8.icehockey..but no girls are on the team?
9.Asian medical club that goes to viet or korea to offer medical care
10.Running club!~

Who knows what else I find I will have to cut this list down
Due to pratice times and large time commitments
I will keep kpop club, dragonboat team, lion dancing and running club
Woah..that's too much still lol xD
I like how I kept all the asian clubs rofl =D
I heard some intresting rumors about ASA
Rumors about people in the club making sure non-asians felt unwelcome by cliching in groups and speaking only asian languages no english
its ok I watch dramas I know a little viet, cantonese, mandarin, taiwanese, korean and lots of japanese!~ so they can try to weed me out but ehh..I think I shall stay for a long time!~
I think that if I feel awkward in these clubs it will be for the best I can learn to adapt an important skill!
I am still learning my programming its hard for me
I want my club to have the best website :)
After I get better at it me and doug can bond over programming?

Master doesn't want me to have many close guy friends
Or many close girl friends because Master is my best friend!~~
Hehehe Master likes me :D
I think having close guy friends will be inevitable
Exsample joining the dragonboat team
Dragonboat team has around 40 guys with a smaller ammt of girls
The ratio to guy/girl is smaller because the team needs more strength on team
The team meets up a lot below is the pratice scheduel!

Sunday 9am-12pm
Tuesday- 6:30-8pm
Wensday- 6:30pm-8pm
Saturday-9am-12pm

The team is like a "family" and on other club websites that have a picture of everyone feeding one another
Mega cute picture!~
But that's just the dragonboat scheduel lion dancing has a lot of pratices also, but later in the day like 7pm
Lion dancing has 6 people 4 guys 2 girls..

This is what I immagined doing with my close friend or him doing to me?
1.Hugz!~
2.Piggy back rides :D yayy
3.exchange chopsticks (1st pic)
4.Protect me from the rain (ahhhh!~ my hair)
5.Helps me with bs yea..jealous people hating on boobies!
6.Having a facebook album with sooo much pics of us!
Pictures of us everywhere :D
7.Do epic projects together! Like making sushi pillows (hehe)
8. Do the asian picture challenge!
9.Help me with math lyke a bunches
10.have a kazillion secrets
11.ooo sleepovers!!~ (yea..I know instant No. )
12.kareoke bar :D tottalllyyyyyyy
13. Finish each others sentence
14.exchange shoes with me if my heels hurt (ahhh my sassy girl remake)
15.Take care of me like joppi :D

But since close friends are banned I will stop my list there pretty basic things? Just having fun I like having fun and joking around its like my hobby hehe
I don't want to do anything that makes master mad :) so I guess ill treat my guy friends with a distance!~~
Obey kitty. Ahh..master is so hot love when he says


Pounds-176.2
Waist-31inch
Hip-35inc
Butt-40inc
Legs-23inc

Antartica

Yesterday was beyond great!~
Extra long skype convo with master!!~
A little bit silent convo..
Yesterday I came up with a great idea!
a crazy idea to say the least
Nobody in their right mind will do the idea I came up with..
I'm writing a contract
Its not morally wrong but it will cause a great deal of tensions
But this is the way I think about it!~ after 2 years or so when I get DD boobies
My parents won't even look at me anymore
I wish I could say I was stretching the truth but that's how my parents are
The type that critizes people with big boobies who don't cover up
If I get my DD boobies sorry I can't cover up!~ I want everyone to see LOOK BIG BOOBIES!!
There is a saying.." big boobies can't buy you happiness"
But..big boobies brings master happiness!~
and big boobies are a huge investment but I can work all the money I spent on boobies back!
Wet t-shirt contests!~ and bikini contests! Working at hooters and stripping!~ maybe ill earn more then I put in!
Big boobies small waist pretty face!~ total win for a wet tshirt contest
Where I live..they have bikini contests bi-weekly! You can win 300usd for one contest!
But now I'm off topic..
So after I told master my epic plan
He told me that my plan has flaws but could work!
For hours we researched sepretly to get the plan working
I researched more on the steps I will take to complete my plan
Who should I contact, what I should write, what offices should I go to etc.
And master researched on more of how to do the plan?
Me and master are a good team right!~
We instantly seperated and did our own research to put together in the end for final result!
researching was really complicated..my head was hurting worse then when I study my math equations!!
Just so many options, so many people and words I did not understand ~_~
But somehow I survived..and finished part one of my research!~
After I surrvived and looked at the convo history I can see that master believes in me
It feels good to know he believes in me not a lot of people believe in me
I think if master did not think I was mentally capable and physically able to do this he would not have helped me and just say it can't be done or some other lame excuse that I would have instantly believed!~
Although I survived heavy research yesterday I know I will have several more days to survive
I want this expirence to be a growing expirence, becoming more independant, not afraid to fight for what I believe in
Although, the hard part of the expirence has not came up yet I want to try my best from the start
Already I have a special notebook where I am recording notes, tips, phone numbers and everything else!~
I want to be finished with all the contract paper work by september 1st one month before I take my standard testing!
A little part of me is nervous that one month won't be enough time for my parents to sign
But I always have great ideas that pop into my head
I think if I was a good writer and I was smarter I could really use my great ideas to better the world
Master his major is business
He wants financial stabability
I think he's in the wrong major (~_~)
Everything about master screams law
And everytime I tell him he never tells me WHY law is not good for him
So I will explain why I feel law is good for him!~
1.He enjoys reading boring things
2.He can write amazingly I think he would be able to write good briefs
3.He already knows many legal things
4.He speaks clearly with authority
5.He has business managment skills and accounting skills I feel he can open his own pratice

But although law is good for him he has flaws
1.low gpa
2.expensive cost to attend law school
3.less job stabality=longer time to get big boobies
4.Master I feel can get emotional quickly sometimes
5.A tranny lawyer?

So I guess it can float anyway
I think Master should try fate..and just take lsat no studying needed!~ high score=business is wrong major!
Lol as long as master is happy I'm happy for him :D

I was thinking what's the best part of my body...
And I decided my legs!
My legs are a nice lightly toasted carmel (atleast in my pov!) And my legs don't look bad..
Master hates big thighs but I think toned thighs will look good on me but not korean styled legs xD
Yesterday I went on webcam with Master I wore an angelic white top
I think I looked like an angel!~
A beautiful angelic angel in white :D
My hair was also so perfectly brown like onews brown with several color streaks!~
Master won't notice small things like kittys hair untill he understands how special kittys hair is!~
So special my hair has a name!~
My hair is ever changing colors D: it can range from black to light brown all at the same time !.!
Special just like me!~
California, whenever I think about it I can only see myself happy!~
Happily being with Master!~
Happily hanging out with my asian friends
Happily giving lap dances to asians at my job
Happily studying in the library next to a boy that looks like onew if I squint my eyes haha

IF I actually get to go to california the first thing me and master MUST do is celebrate!
I wonder if we can celebrate with plain chowmein?
Maybe if I beg master for a loooong time he will say yes to chowmein celebration
Wish me luck :D

Fangcholi

Me and master talked to around 4am..
Then I fell asleep and woke up at 7am
I have a total of 3 hours of sleep and I never felt any better!~
I'm not sleepy..even when I try to close my eyes..my eyes can't close!~
Master went to class today and asked me to call him in 3hrs to "wake up"
I already knew he wouldn't wake up in 3hrs
Maybe he just wanted to hear my voice to protect him from the monsters!~
When I blog I have a rule..I refuse to erase unless it is 100% needed
I want all my emotions..all my feelings to be here on this blog!
If I typed something that means my heart told me to so why should I erase?
being with master is intresting!
Master exposed some of his true feelings yesterday!
Feelings I did not even know exsisted...
How could I not see masters feelings?
Master said that..me and him we have a bond like his other friends
Not a strong bond like doug but something that simply can't be ignored
Master says he has the gift to heal people
I don't believe that though
I don't think that is his destiny
I also think that your destiny..nobody can pick it for you only your heart
If master destiny was to heal..why is he not a doctor?
If masters destiny was to heal..well why is he not a psych?
If master didn't quit his saint goals would he be one of these things..
But the real question is..is it really a gift?
If master had that gift maybe kitty would be healed?
Kitty heals by herself growing stronger...
When I play pokemon I always want my pokemon to win
But when you lose the battle you learn things also
You learn how to do better next time
Kitty is getting hurt by strangers but she will do better next time!
Kittys parents try to hurt her but she will use the pain as motivation!
Sometimes when I'm really bored..I imagine how great I will be at medicine!
I take every tear I cry and double it with motivation
If someone tells me I am not able to do something and I cry..
I will succeed for sure!
Right now I feel like having a party a big party!!
Because I accomplished something that people told me I could not do!
My gpa..Yea its a 4.0 so many people told me I could not do it
But When did I become someone with such great grades?
I wonder if I owe master an appology..
I guess I misunderstood all masters intentions from hiding me from his friends
I rather his friends look at me and be jealous
Jealous that master has a great kitty and he can sample others
On a 1-10 scale on kittys personality mm..I give myself 1000 :D
I'm 10k better then any other kitty!~~~ and in the future I hope to show everyone
Last night master told me his biggest secret..a secret I can relate to..
I wonder if that's why when I told master about ages he was able to relate a little?
Master told me his biggest secret
But I can't tell master my biggest secret never..
I'm scared that after I tell him he will run away
its not a small secret and it will come back to haunt me in the future
Would it be better to tell him or wait till it haunts me..
Master has gates on his heart..that comparison made me think of my heart
My heart is made simply
I guess deep down I'm a simple girl..
I have been a sub/slave/kajira.. for 5 years now..
I've had many masters!
Ranging in personalities usually..the hardcore rock master never lasts long since I rebel..
The soft kind hearted master always dates me
The overly horny master also always dates me..
The funny cute master I always make him fall for me!~
Ahh..I guess I can't help being a tease once in a while on cam :D

But one master had a combo of horny+rock+funny+soft..we lasted a while I was his sub then his slave then his kajira he was also..crazily in love with me :) it was a great great match we lasted about a year! I even had a slave name my name was Myra I hated my name it was so ugly -_- we ended because he went to iraq..after that I never spoke to him again he logged on and showed me his papers for iraq..I cried for so long..I was emotionally distraught its weird flipping on the news and hearing about bombins in iraq..although he promised to contact me he never did..
That's when I stopped being a slave and just tortured guys I was quite popular! I was known for my cbt..
CBTPrincess..or just CBTP that was me
That's when I started looking for a new Master I was half serious half joking..I wanted an Asian Master between a set age..I just flipped through pages messaging only cute Asian boys!~ Masters profile wasn't cute and it was boring so I skipped his profile after skipping I felt something weird? So I went back looked at his picture again..and then skipped again..after messaging everyone I was ready to log out but Masters profile picture was still lingering in my head I looked at the profile again..and then closed the page but later I felt weird I logged on again and viewed Masters profile again and decided to send something since I'm sick of looking at his creepy profile picture -_- when Master messaged me on instant messenger..I was not going to give him the time of day just bitch him out make him go away
But..that day I was lonely really lonely and Master was talking so he kept my company after the first skype call i knew I picked the right asian!~ but it wasn't till a month or two later that I realised that I picked a good Master
And it wasn't till a couple more months that he realised he picked a good slave :)
The weirdest thing about our relationship is not how we met though..but I am still here
Master doesn't give out much attention and he is not the best at comforting me..and sometimes he's crazy crazy enough for me to scream ahghhh I hate master!~! But I don't hate him honestly usually in the past when faced with harships I would take a "break" or just curse them out untill I'm dissowned -_- so far up untill now..there has not been a master able to control my other personality..that's a crazy mean bitch :p
I have came across way to many bumps with Master and when I feel like quitting..
I can't...my heart won't allow me too because honestly I want to be right here with master even if I'm in some pain some people say listen to your heart? So I will listen to my heart honestly
And my heart says..To try my best to give Master happiness don't quit,don't lie and don't hold back
Because of this..I always say yes to wanting to be a slave and I will have to keep saying yes till my heart says no!~