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Ahh!~ I've found my writing zen

Today, I am looking for songs for Master to sing! I am doing my best to chose easy songs for him, no rapping no insane Korean just simple. I love love ballads <3 I want to chose the really sappy ones so it feels like Master is singing that to me!~ But, I also like stupid songs like Super junior Sorry Sorry, here is just a little snippet of Sorry Sorry

Cuckquean

Master gave me the opportunity to be Katie, instead of Kitty. He gave me this opportunity for only a few hours. When Master treated me as Katie, I noticed something strange. I discovered that, I am Kitty, Katie is no longer a part of me. When I was Katie, It was so hard for me to call Master "Adam" I even had to struggle to type in first person. Being a slave, has become a undeniable part of myself, In this relationship I have discovered where my place is. I am Kitty, Masters slave, but as the relationship progressed, I have allowed myself to agree to Master's ideas. Not just agree to his ideas, but want to complete his crazy ideas to the best of my abillity. Master, he says he has a sadist side to himself, I cant wait to see that side of him come out. I want Master to want to hurt me for his own pleasure, disgregarding my opinions and emotions. This pain can be longterm, or short term, whichever he pleases. As a slave, pleasing my master with pain, shows my true devotion to my Master. I hope for him to hurt me as long, and as hard as he can, so that my Master can see how devoted I am to his happiness, and servicing him.

Master, he enjoys fucking a wide variety of girls, his taste is quite broad. Because, of the large variety he enjoys, it is often hard for him to find every girl he wishes to fuck. That is where I come in, by helping Master find as much girls as he can. In terms of pleasing Master sexually, Master may be pleased having a bimbo waiting for him at home, but having the same flavor icescream gets boring. To ensure he is happy to the fullest extent, it is part of my duty as his bimbo slave to find other girls for Master to fuck, when he gets tired of me. Because this is a part of my duty as his slave, I will find these girls with eagger and excitment in hopes of pleasing Master. I will also encourage Master to fuck more girls, so that Master will continue to be pleased sexually. As a Master, he has the right to fuck these girls without my permission, or without me watching for however long he pleases. A big fantasy that I have is, watching Master fuck other girls as I watch horny in my chastity belt. Because, I have had these type of fantisies for a while, it makes servicing Master with girls, a less painful more enjoyable expirence. I do not want to take away from the expirence of fucking other girls by becoming jealous, or by making Master feel guilty by engaging in his right as a Master.

As Master slave, in the next 2 years on my birthday I want to show Master, my submission to him as his cuckquean, his slave that lives for his pleasure. I want to get piercings on that day, Nipple and clit piercings. I want to end my birthday with a brand new chastity belt. Showing Master, that as I enter this new chapter of my life I give up everything to him, and I am his slave. He can use me, or deny me of any pleasure at any time he wishes. Master already has complete control of my mind, but the most prescious part of me, my sexual pleasures, I want him to own. After he owns that part of me then truely, Master has owned a cuckquean slave, controlling her mind, her money and her body. This is Kitty's deepest desires, to give Master everything, because this part of Kitty, that desires to please master wont subside, untill I can give Master everything, and make him happy for the rest of his life.

Writing this assignment, it was intresting for me, it was not a 'drag' to write. I was able to learn a lot about myself, I never knew my desires were so strong untill I just sat down and typed my deepest emotions. Pain, has been a touchy issue for me in the past, I never let someone hurt me. But for Master, it is diferent I want him to hurt me. I want Master to show me his sadist side, or any side of Master I dont want him to feel like as a Master he has to hide parts of his personality, because the world does not agree with it. Maybe his Masochist side is dark and scary, but to me Master will always appear warm and bright in my eyes, I felt a great sence of love for master during that paragraph. During the second paragraph, I felt a new emotion. I was so horny I could not control my hands, but I did not even penetrate myself, because once I start masturbating I know I wont be able to stop. I am so wet, and so horny now, thinking about being Masters Cuckquean. Being Master's cuckquean, at first was an idea that I found strange, but now it is a idea that I am so desperate to cum to. I am so excited to find a girl for Master to fuck, as I watch, or hear about how awesome the sex was. I took a short break to search chastity belts, and look for pictures of cuckquean, my pussy was so wet viewing pictures. The last paragraph, has been something that I have been thinking about a lot, what should I do to show Master he owns everything. I can't wait for the days to pass, for me to get the peircings and chastity belt, and even my collar! The day where Master can proudly tell the world, This is my girlfriend Katie! but also the day where Master can feel accomplished as a Master, he has everything, the best slave that loves him more then he knows. This assignment really made me think about pleasing Master, and our lives together in a whole new perspective.

Failz

Master, he wanted me to write about being a cuckqueen but, somehow I went way off topic. It's a waste to just delete this paragraph, so here is my failed attempt at Masters prompt, I did not double check this since its just trash sorry!~

Being a slave, you have two options, two unspeakable options. The first option is to make your Master happy all the time, and the second option is to make your Master happy sometime, when you feel like it. I chose the first option, this can also be called a limitless slave. A limitless slave, is a term that many Masters dream of saying, because this is a slave without any limits, the master can use or abuse this slave at their own discretion. I am not yet a limitless slave, but rather a slave who works on becoming limitless. Taking small steps everyday, to make master happy, thinking less about myself and more about my Master. Because this relationship is still online, it is a bit difficult to take the steps to make my Master happy. For now I just practice small things, like leaving him alone to study, letting him go out with his friends to strip shows, and just being flexible with anything and everything. So far, Master has not asked me to do anything serious that shows my efforts on being limitless. An example of something serious, would be Master asking me if he could have a girlfriend, other then me. If master asked me that, I would be deeply hurt, my mind would go crazy. But, I would never tell Master no because I know that having a girlfriend, would provide him with the emotional and sexual support that he craves for. Since I can not give that to him, the least I could give him would be the ability to fulfill his cravings. If Master craves Spanish bimbos, its my job to befriend every hot bimbo and lure them to Master.

Lee Seung

Waiting in my black corset, dressed to kill with makeup on and my books on my lap. I anxiously counted down forty mins, but then forty mins turned to one hour, and finally that one hour turned to tomarrow. My parents were not home tonight, they went away for the weekend. Home alone, Master had plans to help me study for, but I had plans to distract master from studying. Now that I think about it, I guess dressing up is foolish, since Master does not view me in the sexuall way. Master has a friend named Roxx, Rox wanted to go to a strip club. Master messaged me, he was like " Ughh, Roxx wants to go a strip club." I guess he was informing me or testing how I felt about that. I probably should have told him what I prepared, but he would be more sexually excited with strippers. Guys say, girls are complicated, but I think guys are the complicated one in the relationship. Of course I am probably contridicting myself, since I dressed up for Master, and never even told him. I guess, I like to surprice him, I know, I know I need to stop with the surprices. Master never sees me dress up sexy, or wear makeup I just thought I could do that for him tonight. No big deal though, because I can dress up anytime, I guess, at the end of the day, I just wanted to make sure Master was happy tonight. Even If I am not included in his plans for tonight, atleast he had fun? I always ponder how to accuretly describe me and Masters relationship, sometimes I want to describe it by comparison to foods, other times drinks, and on the rare occasions inanimate objects. In my head, It feels like Master is that tough cool guy, and I am that cute girl trying to crack his tough exterior! Yesterday, I learned something personal about master, I was really surpriced to hear it. I am not quite sure why he decided to tell me, he could have easily made his point without the story. I was so touched when he told me the story, did he really care about me this much to tell me a story so personal? My touched feelings were soon erased, Master tried to say what my life is like. I wonder if I told him what my life is like if he would listen? To him my life is like, sprinkles on vanilla icescream, just an after thought. Vanilla icescream honestly tastes really good, people add the sprinkles just to make something so plain look beautifull. I think vanilla icescream is beautifull without the need for sprinkles, or nuts I like the simplistic beauty that the vanilla icescream brings. Master and I will have known each other for almost a year soon. In a year have I learned a lot about Master, or have I wasted the year? I wonder which I would be able to confidently say, I just know that in one year Master has changed. Did he change because of me, lol just joking I know Master would never change over a girl. Master said before this relationship he was arrogant, and always hurt the girls closest to him, but what changed is now he will appologize for hurting me. I never expect an appology when Master hurts me, only because the pain never lasts too long. An appology from Master is like a band-aide, a regular brown band-aide. But, " I love you Kitty, don't be mad" is like a hello kitty band-aide. Am I such a simple girl, pictures and I love you makes me feel better. Master has changed to adapt to this relationship, I need to change also, before Master decides he does not want me. I need to work hard, work hard to be more serious, speak with less smilies and just improve general knowlodge. I know Master is training me to be a bimbo, but I think Master wants a super smart girl. I feel bad when I fail, I want to become better for Master.
I have started a new subbing project, yeah I sub music videos, a job made for lame people. I usually sub songs, that I can relate to, does that mean the song I am subbing right now I can relate to? The song I am subbing, it is a bit sad, but its such a beautiful ballad! Even Master can classify this song as "real music." It is a old song, made by an old singer but so good <3. Nobody subs songs made by old singers, how sad! After I finish subbing that song, I am going to subb other songs that I want Master to sing in october ^_^. Master may have ditched my last night, but its cool because I still studied. I studied while chatting to new people, what a intresting way to study. I met this asian boy he lives in New york, ehh I dont think he really likes me. He thinks I am too excited, too much coffee. But I dont drink coffee I said! The poor asian boy did not believe me =/, do you REALLY need coffee to become energised? I am just naturally happy, naturally full of energy and naturally this cute ;) haha. For the most part, meeting people was mega fail last night but *shrugs* not everyone is going to want to be my friend. Those lucky few who do wont regret it!~ Master he is so weird, he said that he does not think that people online can be sincere and real. But, he still decided to take a chance, and he took a chance replying back to my message. My message was pretty stupid, kinda carefree eh. I am happy he replied to me, and even happier to show you the best email I ever got EVER. Well, MM.... the email is -almost- as good as the pictures master sends. OMG, he sent the cutuest picture ever he was smiling with a little pose <3 ahhh. This email, is maybe the email that contains Masters most personal emotions, at the time I was really, really hurt. But, now when I read this email I don't care? It makes me wonder, why did I even care? It was not even a big deal but here is my favoriate part of the email. The part I read over and over when I "hate Master"

I met you soon after and I really liked you, I just didn't want to scare you away, because you might have thought that I was just going to let you be a mistress or an affair of sorts, when I really wanted you to be that center person of priority.I trust you Katie. I trust you very much. I feel that I can find mutual happiness with you. I will make up for it. You can choose, to be done with all the assignments that I have given (and not yet completed), or for me to buy you a gift.

hehe Cute right!~, Master liked me he really did like me ^_^. Master never says I love you Katie, and I guess its fair since I never say I love you Adam. But, in this part of the email it shows he loves katie!~ hehehehehehe ^_^. I don't know why I still get happy and giggly when I think about Master loving kitty and kattie. I need to grow up right? I think for me, the hardest part being with Master will be growing up to be more mature, the mature kind of person that doesn't giggle when he says " I love you Katie." The mature girl who doesn't send emails when she is bored and entertain Master with creepy,cute things *cough* chowmein song. I know Master likes this cute things at the momment, but soon, really soon I know he will tell me to stop. I hope he doesn't tell me to stop, I have so much more ideas, I look forward to Finals, and Midterms, and the first day of school.. I know last finals I didnt send anything ~_~ I was too busy failing all my classes lol

Math Master

Aghh Today has been a rollercoster ride for me and my master ~_~
starting with my master screaming at me like BLAHHHHHHH
and ending with him asleep on skype dreaming of boobies :)
Master agreed that he was being harsh about the whole china thing..
which is true but *Sighs* I wonder..if I did not have a master would I have gone to china with him?
would I be willing to risk EVERYTHING just to see what it could be like?
risk my life just to see what it could be like..I wonder
I am the type of girl that believes everyone and will be the first to be tricked
I am also the type to accept a wide RANGE of baggages..
I don't have many normal friends online and in real life..
Online well the sanity of my friends I would question
in real life my friends are ALMOST sane :o
but me..I think I am 100% sane?
I just perfer having intresting friends?
I can have a friend who likes onew
ORR
I could have a friend who hates onew, is a crossdressing vampire that has a mob and will kill me if i piss her off.
MM....I think life with a vampire mob friend is a bit more spicy ;)
that being said I would never invite that friend to my wedding too dramatic..
actually the only friend I would concider invinting to my wedding is actually..mmm Julia a crossdresser and that is concidering she looks passable..
But the problem with Julia is she is 6 foot, fat guy with strong distinctive male atributes... even with makeup she looks a bit..BLAH but whatever if she looks passable she can come :)
I decided I wanted to not be kitty for today I just wanted to be normal..but I kept talking as kitty ~_~ I can't NOT be kitty..Kitty has become a part of myself being anything but kitty to master just doesn't feel right it just feels wrong..
thats why today I realized..Being kitty sucks but being kitty..is the only thing I know how to do for master..If master woke up and said he doesnt want a bdsm relationship just normal I wouldnt be able to accept for a long time lol I just want to be kitty..I just want to be HIS kitty..of course my blog atm is maybe biased since im blogging and watching master sleep beautifully <3
in his sleep he is smiling..he smiled just for a quick second! I think for that quick second..he thought about me :)
Today I finally admitted to master that I have been studying for standard testing
BUT out of the 25 math questions pratice.the highest I can score is 5 right XD ugh..I dont understand the problems It just hurts? the book explains it but the book makes no sense using big words I dont understand and then when i google I get bigger words and bigger concepts i never understood *Sighs*
I am not stupid..I am just not as smart as master ;)
master has decided to do a study plan 3hrs a day studying with him..untill summer ends soo mmm a month and a few dayss? I say summer ends september 1st..Master has a long way to go...I don't think he knows how long he has to go XD if he knew..I think he would give uo lol
I want to give up also but nonono No giving upz...Master is so great investing time into me :) it is a risky investment so I need to work hard to make sure that he knows he made the right choice!~
but just studying 3 math problems with him my head hurts I MISS MY CALCULATOR master said MARI JANE YOKO belongs in the garbage =[
Mari jane yoko has the best spot in my room :) I put her next to the icescream piggybank yuji bought for me <3 the icescream piggy bank was one dollar..BUT the PRICE of items dont matter to me but rather the intention..and his intention was.. I LOVE YOU KATIE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 AHHH...

Master has been looking at a pet tag for me..if master sent me a gift in the summer time it's more safe ^_^ since kitty is always home 24/7!~ I wonder if the pet tag would be cute....In my short black minidress with my pet tag ;) haahah cute <3 I like my necklace now its soo beautiful :) but I know anything master gets it will be cute..well not really master doesnt know cute -_- *cough*
Master told me today that my friend that i think is the prettiest most luckiest most hottest girl EVER is just ughh shes ok..
I was so worried..compared to this friend..I am a 2..xD just really blahh
but master called this girl average I don't even want to hear my rating =/
I wanted to change the subject to onew! (yeah first thing on my mind)
and he was like NO! WE CANT CHANGE IT TO ONEW! if you talk about onew ONE MORE TIME i WILL hang up..
At that momment I just felt he is willing to stop over onew..
he hurt me..
and my voice showed it..=/
I think he felt bad..
he was like "Kitty" *long dramatic puse*
and then "Katie" *longer dramatic pause*
and then "Kittie" *even longer dramatic pause*
^+^ I just laughed Master hurts me all the time I can bounce back quite easily!~
and he agreed to talk about onew but I shot him down ^_^ hehehe
we talked about our future together..I dont know why I like to think about the future.. so here is me and masters future :o

Location to live=CALIFORNIA
House insurance=BEST WE CAN GET FOR Earthquakes!~
House=Master picks (no hk pool)
Children Names= NO bible names,onew name, korean names but we can both pick :)
Wedding= Not what me and joppi planned X[ blahh
AHAHA :O jkjk anything goes I think <3 as long as I am with him I am ok..well MAYBE ill be ok..I deff wont live anywhere cold -_- nonono I want to show boobies


Master is the type of guy that loves me so much but shows it in the strangest ways..
the times where I think about his strange ways to show it is mostly when he sleeps or when he sends pictures..I just get this mushy feeling ^_O DOES THAT MEAN WHEN I SEE HIM IN REAL LIFE IM GOING TO LIKE WORSHIP HIM???!!!??
ahh..serving master will be so simple I think..if I feel this way over skype+pictures then real will be soo extremly WOAH just drop to my knees suck his cock kinda woah lol

Master to show he loves me..he screamed at me about going to china..
he screamed because he doesnt want anyone to hurt our relationship
and when I told him..he was scared and confused...
He really wasnt trying to be a asshole
and then the second time he showed love to me today :)
was when he let me be katie today just for today..he loved me enough to understand that for some reason I needed to feel like katie..Actually for a while I havent felt like anything..Just felt like a walking talking robot untill master comes online <3 my parents..they want me to be a robot..new parenting skills book ;) lol crazy..
and third time he showed love!~
When he became a crazy math teacher..his teaching style..it works but its just like UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KILLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
LOL mainly because I dont have a calculator =o how will I do long devision?? what about my exponents?? what about fractions??? noooooooo I WANT MY CALCULATOR =[
LOL and apart from not having a calculator its generally pretty hard concepts he is trying to install in my head concepts that he says he can do in his sleep backwords lol..when I get kids they won't go to school in america not in a kaziilion years :O even if it was private...But heyy I dont make choices in this relationship lol I kinda like not making choices? just Yes Master No Master BIG KISSY MASTER :)
master said if I score high on standard testing he will sing -TEN- onew songs -TEN- -TEN-
WOAH I WANT TO PICK OUT TEN ALREADY ^_^...
anyways Time to end blogging while master sleeps I am going to take a pratice exam :) I wont fail master..I will show him I can succeed and then enjoy my ten onew songs :) I have-one- shot at this testing.. lets just see how awesome I do..who knows maybe if i get like perfect score he will sing the WHOLE ONEW ALBUM!!!~ YAYYYY

Blahhzz WTF

today master just screamed at me =[
I told him I met this guy online
bassicly I enslave him and he gives me money ^_^
just like how master said I could do it
but this guy lives in china..he is a sucscfull CEO in china :o
and he has the diamond club account to prove it!
the diamond club just means your money has been verified :O
I just idely messaged him once and he happened to reply :D
he said its cool I like asian things and he has never tried being a slve and wants to try it~
we could get to know each other better and maybe in a few months he can fly me out to china on a private jet and he will let me stay in a suite I can bring a friend or two if i wish and we can try the bdsm things :D
cool right?
I told master..
and all he did was scream at me...
I felt like....I was a bad person....
just BLAH KITTY AWIFPJSFASK ASSPKFNA;N;AS FSAKMAFS;M KA;AM;KFM;ASMF
aghh....=/
I didnt know just messaging someone was so harmfull...
I followed the rules...no personal relationships just bdsm
but still I was screamed at =[
=[
its my first time really being screamed at by master
I feel sick..
I just told master i am going to eat
I shall order chowmein..
and sleep....sleep forever
ughh i hope i dont awake for a long time -_-
I waited to talk to master for a longgg time
but I didnt even get to tell master other things in my life..
he was just screaming at me..
and when he did give me the chance to talk about other things
I didnt want to tell him?
it just felt like he wouldnt really listen..
I know most times master doesnt listen but it just felt like he wouldnt care really
just blahhhh hes so mad at me
what do i do? ~_~
aghhh I need chowmeins...
aghh talking to master is so weird now
it was just ONE message not even exchanging anything else =/
Master asked what if he went to germany with a stranger?
I wanted to ask him whats the diffrence from germany and where he lives?
no matter what master will fuck someone thats not me
should I feel upset that he wants to go to germany?
should I feel like a bad person for messaging someone???

~1

I feel bad that my friend joppi has confused feelings about Master XD
she knows everything about our relationship except she doesnt know the bdsm part?
As of right now she thinks master is the perfect boyfriend for me <3
I describe our relationship more as a DATING rather then a slavery relationship..

"Oppa told me that he loves me forever!~ and will never ever ever let me go not in a thousand kazillion years :O because I stole his heart with my cuteness :D"
(OF COURSE master did not say this) and then she is like AHH!~~HE LOVES YOU <3 THATS CUTE~! Did I stretch the truth? no..Master did tel me he would never let me go but there was conditions to him never leaving me..
or something else would be like
"Oppa says, the name Katie is really special to him and years from now he wants to name something really special Katie like his first child or his first resturant or something :)"
Well...mmmm I am named katie and I am his first slave? Slave and reasturant isnt a far stretch I serve master just like reasturants serve food?
"Today Oppa said he wants our realationship to be high intensity! meaning he wants me to know that He loves me so much and he will do his best to make me happy in the future!~ even though we are online he wants to make sure we dont fail like others relationships and we are being real and legit 100% of the way"
Well..our relationship is a high intesnsity bdsm relationship and we are trying to be a Master slave realtionship not a fake master sub relationship..Legit and real

Although I love stretching the truth about what master says I enjoy stretching the truth about what I say to him lol
Situation: Me and Master are in a fight rawrrr

Kitty says: Oppa, there is 3billion people in china..If you don't treat me better I will move to china!~~
Oppa says: Sorry Kitty, don't move to china I love you!~ I will try my best not to hurt you anymore

Actual argument
Kitty says: Oppa, You always hurt me I am sick of it
Master says: Sorry Kitty, I will do my best to cut down on unintentional hurting you but you must realize that sometimes intentional hurting is required in this relationship

^_^ TBH I like my version of the argument better <3 so sappy

Bassicly I quote my favoriate asian dramaas :) and now master looks like the best boyfriend ever but Theirs aalso times where I dont stretch..if master says anything G rated that doesnt need stretching to make it more G-rated then I let joppi know the truth :) but how often is master G-Rated? Heres what I figure...Joppi is going to hate Master soon might as well make her love master just as much as I do? <3