Bwahzz ^_^

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guess where i am?
i am at the train station!
I am going to meet master!
I am never ever ever going to meet him again after this trip
Untill we move in together etc.
Lol I love him..
I love him so much I've gone crazy..
Crazy enough to go out to see him with the little money I have..
Ughhh what will happen on Saturday and Sunday regarding my leave?
I have no clue!
Nor do I wish to think about it!
What happens, happens! No regrets, just having fun!
I hope if something happens that's bad regarding my leave, master won't ditch me alone and blame all shit on me =p
*shrugs* I am not even going to think about anything other then

My first kiss
My first sex expirence
My frist cuddle..
Ahhz so many firsts, its a shame!~!
The first dress I wore for master, is the dress I will wear today..
I hope he remembers it!~
Master requested for me to be in an easy access mini dress without panties!
Right now, I am wearing jeans, but I am changing in 30mins..
Ahh so excited, so nervous ahh!~!~
I wonder if master is jittery thinking about kitty...
I think he really really really loves me..
I can confidently have sex with him knowing he loves me..my first time is with someone I love, who loves me..
I think I'm ready!
Reflecting back shortly on myself, I have so much confidence to do something so risky..
Nobody knows who I am meeting..
And I don't have money..
And I don't have a place to stay other then Master..
I guess, my logic is..if master wanted to kill me he wouldn't invest so much time in me!
And if he happens to be a killer, then I am screwed :p
Ah master wants me to be wet when I'm off the train but my stomach is twisted in so many knots..
Since 3am I've had that omg my first date feeling :p
Lol I did not eat yet, and I don't plan on eating..
My heart is skipping beats..I hope to sleep on the train or I might be awake counting every second that passs by!
So excited that I am trembling!~
How sad.. won't meet him for 5 more hrs
I am going to meet him..
I have no clue if I can withold my energy xD
I hope master is the same person as he is online...
I hope the mostest that after meeting me, master falls more in love! And decides. To move closer, and don't leave for california without me!~~!~! Omg :D *sighs*
Its 45mins to departure..I am gonna do some yoga breathing to relax

Dragon

AhhzzI
Today while writing my eight page report for Master that he requested...
So I called up one of the schools I wanted to apply to and asked a couple questions!
after asking some questions, I was told that I was not eligable for admission..
and I should try again next year..
But, I thought they were joking so I just continued writing my paper happily
after my paper finished, I researched online, and its true I really was not eligable..
I felt 2 things
1. Pain- ahz I really wanted to get into this school but now all I did was screw myself over..
2. Regret- I just wasted Masters time, I am so stupid for allowing him to waste his precious time..
I expected Master to scream at me at my stupidness regarding allowing him to waste his time..
but instead he scremed at me for believing I could not get in..
how can he transfrom from cute and cuddly to angry dragon so quickly?
o_o I just told him that this is what the website says, and this is what the person said
so that means I am not eligable
then he just IMPLODE o_o exceptions count, exceptions to every rule..
they view your application as a whole..
did Master did lots of research, he must know that these schools recive MANY applicants..
to be even concidered my chances rest at 1%..
Master believes I can do anything, but I dont believe in myself as much as he does...
I really, really, really ,really have to do well to make up for not being eligable..
I wish, just for one day Master would sit down and "Look at my application"
see that in black and white it really is just an average joe, not whats in his head..
yes! I have 500 community service hours! but..all of them are from one source being a secretary at my dads job..yea not medical related XD
maybe ill just declare my major undecided so they wont mind that I have 500 service hours from a trucking company lol
it's too late to get hours elsewhere, but on the bright side! I can get more hours from this trucking company..
I heard it is better to have service hours in one spot..
Master got so mad..but he does not understand the risk..
If I dont get into a school in california, we will be distance again..
I was looking forward to moving to get closer to him!
but, because of my stupidity I might have just added more distance..
even if master said he would move closer, I would be sad...
Master loves more then anyone his brother..
annd I would love for him to atleast be in the same state as his brother!~
The schools around his brother, are pretty stiff competition..lol
but, it never hurts to try!~
A risk is losing something..
what if the risk is losing someone?
I just want to be closer to master, for master to be happy with me..
happy with his brother, happy with his llife, happy fucking other girls..
and one day when he is watching the sun set...he will sit down and think
"wow, my life is just perfect"
I want Master to have a great life, in california close to his brother...
close to many other asians for him to communicate with...
in a place where gays lez and trannys are ok.
a place where he can express himself without fear..
if I told master, he wouldnt listen to me for a second..
maybe just laugh at the idea that the risk is a person..not an actual object..
Master said he applied to 33 schools, his brother applied to around 50..
Unlike Master I cant afford to apply to that many schools o_o
the most I could afford is 12..
and of that 12, 9 are in California
leaving me 3 more schools left..
applying to schools I am not eligable for is such a gamble with only 12 schools and the pressure to want master to be happy..
I tryed to convince master to just abandon ship on some UC schools, but he wouldnt listen..and I was kinda scared...
but, Master is right I can't give up..
if I believe I can't do it then I already can't do it..
why is Master so inspring ?
ahhz..hes like the best...
why does he inspire me so easily...
why does he mold me in so many ways?
physically, mentally and emotionally...
ahh I want to cry 10 million thosand tears!~
tears of happiness ^_^
I've found someone that inspires me more then onew :)
(don't worry onew I still llike you ^_^)
onew is just so inspiring..he always cheers people up with chicken :)
dubdubdudbdudbu onew!~
I am going to start believing in myself..and start working harder..
I only have 40 words memorized...
need to start working harder..I can do this..
exceptions exsist, but even if exceptions dont exsist
wherever I end up..I'll follow with a smile because Master and I will begin our life together!~
Whoever is my roomate, really is lucky...
they can bring home guys every weekend if they wish ;)
I'll be spending my weekends at Masters house.. hehehehehe
sexsexsexsexsex
In fact, I happen to be popping my cheery next friday :)
Master plans on taking me to the doctor for birth control pills..
but...I dont like when Master pays for things
I know I should get used to it since I wont have any money..
but, its not like it is my money that is buying the items..
it's -Masters- money
and thats where I have a problem..
I can't really say where I think his money should go towards since it is his money
but, I feel like when he spends his money on me he is wasting it..he could be spending on cuckquean sluts or hookers..or a fleshlight or something..idk
Master applyed to 33 schools, that is just a luxary...a heaven of saftey..one of those 33 schools will accept him..his brother applied to 50+...they both expirenced luxary..
lol I can't expirence luxary like Master, but rather stress? ahh what if xyz doesnt accept me so I have to continue going to my crappy school?
Master when I told him I did not want to apply to all 9 schools too much risk, he told me he would pay for it..
I wanted to protest, but I was scared?
ok..Master scares me..
BUT THATS ONLY BECAUSE HES SCARY..
I swear....he gets all RAWR and then I just imagine his eyes changing...and then he looks like a dragon...and then he gets calm and then sudden rawr..its scary...
I will apply for schools I can afford..all other schools I will not apply too
and that is currently just 12 schools...9 in california and 3 elsewhere..it's scary since those 9 schools I am uneligable for...
but, no way will I ever, ever ever want to use Masters money..
so what I will do is..study my ass off and make sure I become someone that a university will want ;)

Karokez

Today, my mom told me to go shopping!
she gave me a credit card, she did not tell me HOW much money to spend, but simply told me buy enough supplies for two people..
Alrighty I am going back to school shopping the last week and since we waited so long all the good deals are gone...
Ok, no budget I shop smart! total 153! about $66 per person and I spent 25usd on things for myself such as makeup, skinclensers, stretch mark erasers things and a teeth whitener :p
I come and tell my parents yea 153 and they explode on me
blah blah your so stupid
and I just calmly tell them THIS is the bill, this is the price for each item (no sales)...and THIS was the budget: No budget!
then they just EXTRA IMPLODE on me ahh katie your so stupid, you dont care about anyone but yourself blah blah blah...
and then I laugh hystericlly laughing..
this just makes them implode 2x more hehe after they get over their implodness and demand I take back items for my personal needs I just say No.
I need makeup for school, I need skin cleaners and I WANT a teeth whitener? my teeth isnt white like Onews..that's a problem...
they agree I can keep everything but the teeth whitner >_<
So that only made me laugh more ^_^ then they left to go to "Work"
I simply slammed the door!~
Outside my apperance was strong..
but inside, I wanted to cry like a baby over and over and over again...
my parents have a hard time dealing with me..they just THINK i dont care..
the reality is 1. I dont care 98% of the time and 2. getting mad at me makes me laugh because you just inspired me to study thanks mom thanks dad~!
lol so when they have trouble getting mad at me..they also have trouble punnishing me..
If I take away her phone and computer she isnt sad?
If I take away her phone and computer and ipod why isnt it a punishment??
If I take away her phone adn computer and tv and ipod! why doesnt she care?
Well..when I get punnished and can't talk to Master I usually just study..I study all day and all night maybe 12hrs max.. XD
Wake up *eat* STUDY *eat* STUDY *sleep* STUDY
lol on a continuing pattern..
so much information I learn..
If my parents grounded me for a month or more before SAT I would prob get a perfect score!~
the problem I have with self study is that I just want to go online and watch onew I can't quite controll my computer hours..
I dont have a set amount of study hours..so my study time usually = 0 hours and 5mins
if so much XD ^_^ BUT I am trying to change I swear I SWEAR because I want onew songs...
but *sighs* so hard to change atleast I know tonight I have 3hrs study time in the bag!~

When I was sad today
Master simply said Love you...and I was strong inside again :)
like a band aid, he makes me feel better almost instantly..
ah, I love him more and more but why cant words tell him he is like my band aid ^_^?
so after the whole drama with my parents I became INSPIRED TO STUDY..
okkk I admit I havent studied in a while...
I study in my head?
I think ABOUT studying all day...but I dont actually study...yea..fail..never gonna get onew songs..
so after this bloggy, and after writing report THEN i study ^_^
oh and master has a big test tomarrow so...after bloggy, after writing report, after writing jyiao test email THEN study ^_^
but master has the bestest slave like dude..Master is studying till like 4am tonight and its 9pm and already I have some of his studying emails done :)
Studying emails, plane emails, jyaio emails and any other random excuse for me to send a email is not required...
nor is it expected or praised!
I guess its just a little something I like to do...who knows if it energisez Master or what..
It surely energisez me rooting for master
rooting for him when nobody else is really rooting..
who cheers for someone to take -one- test?
who cheers for someone to do their best on -one- presentation..
^_^ like OMGG WHICH OLD SCHOOL PERSON still thinks that your gonna die in a plane crash when the chances are like 0.1% lol
idk I am Masters Slave, whenever he needs me I will be there..When he doesn't need me I will also be around waiting for when he needs me ^_^..and when he THINKS that nobody cares about a stupid test or a stupid essay ^_^ kitty will always be around to make sure she cares <3
Master got an A in english..
should I be happy?
or should I have expected an A already?
One question to ponder aboutz~
Am I making my Master my gooey and lovable and more stupid at the same time?

Onew Condition!!

Ahhz I have Onew Condition <3

and since this is my blog to post whatever I want ^_^ I am going to post about my disease..

I have Onew Condition..This condition causes an intese like for Fried chicken, Clumziness, awkward funny moments and an intese love for onew <3 yayy onew!~

When I go to california..I MUST be friends with a Onew lookalike!~

I hope his name is like xiao shing zhao dong~ then..because it is too hard for me I will be like...

shing dong can I call you onew? ^_^ and then BOOM my own ONEW YAYYZZ <3

Which one is onew?

Hmm...OF COURSE ONEW IS AT THE TOP <3 only because he is the cutest look at his little wink ;)!~~ ahzz

Sadly..I am still looking for Onews Jacket =[ isnt it soo cute....I thinkk its a banc jacket..ahzz I am going to buy it <3 Itll look perfect on me rights <3 oppa would get mad if I used the money for meeting him on a onew jacket..but ahz so cute <3 cant resist...

When I dont study for  Onew and Master look the same lol...^_^ ahzzz Onew is so cute at MNET

OPPA I MUST GO TO MNET <3 LOOK HOW CUTE HIS ONEW SIGN IS!~~ Don't worry Onew

I'll study hard  :)

Reason 1 Why I hate key: AHZ KEY IS SO GAY >_< everyone is looking super hot..and hes wearing these leg tights? ewwzz... it's not even like the jo kwon kinda gay..jo kwon is gay but hes so cute that I want to pretend hes stright and defend him from gay comments!~

Key needs to take tips from onew, Onew can wear tights and make it just be PERFECT <3  SEXY ONEW HYUNG~

Hyung is waiting for me <3 ONEW HYUNG <3 YAYY

Onew said on his UFO..THAT all younger fans can call him Hyung ^_^
ISNT ONEW SO GREAT <3 ONEW HYUNG AHZZ

Hyung is so cute right? :D :D :D :D haha just so innocently cute with his sign!~

Yea Onew Style!!~

Perfect Onew hair <3 <3 <3

<3

Yea, I have Onew Condition, I dont quite mind ;)

Slipery Slidez

I used to view Master as someone who sticks closly to his beliefs, but yesterday I found out thats not the case!
I asked Master what he thought about clubs back in November, he told me something I would never froget!~
"Clubs are disgusting, it is a place for sleezy people to to get sleezy dates, I hate clubs, I wont attend a club I am not as low as some people who get drunk to go to a club to bring a girl home"
he was disgusted about clubs and thought about clubbing in a negative light
but when his friends suggusted to go clubbing, he quickly agreed!~
What does that say about Master?
I have many turnoffs, this being one of them.. I like guys who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in, even if they happen to be standing alone...
But, I am not going to make the clubbing incident surprice me, I already knew Master doesnt stand up for what he beieves in, he is controlled by his friends....

Master wanted me to do a report!
a report to include in his flawless 200 page report about schools...
The more I wrote, the less confident I was..
My report is going to be the dead weight
I really should not do it...
I have 2 drafts of my report..both done in two seperate ways
but, I guess I am not as great as Master..
even after reading the book on writing, my writing seems bad..
It's not fair..
instead of dwelling on the deadweightness of my report..
Master said I could do the report ANY way I wanted..
so, I decided to do the essays for each school..
I deciced to write essays for schools compared to just saying WHY i want to go to xyz schools because
writing the essay shows I am dedicated to applying, and wish to go..
Maybe, I am just adding more work for master XD
Essays are all I can do to help him..
I feel ashamed and emberased that I cant do anything for him..
I hate when Master says he likes having smart friends
it just reminds me that I am not excactly his type..
I always knew I wasnt his type, but I enjoy not thinking about it?
I miss the kind of BDSM relationships I had where I was everything my Master ever wanted, the bestest thing he could wish for..
With Master, I am the bestest thing he could wish for (an awesome slave), but I still need to push for more..
but, that push to be better, that push so succeed is not a bad thing it is a posotive influence, one that I enjoy!~




I want to see Master..I want to see him on August 26-August 28th!
I'll have enough money to see him! and just a little bit extra for fun!
But, Idk..I prob wont have enough money for us to go out to dinner ^_^
but who needs to buy thai when chowmein packets exsists??? ^+^
duhhz get a clue :)
On August 26th..We can eat Chowmein and chicken! ill do the chowmein and oppa does chicken~!
and thenn August 27th...mmmm Oppa can make soup ^_^ but...idk...
nononono we can eat SUSHI ^_^ chicken sushi :) we can use the chicken from yesterday to make yummy chicken sushi :)
I guess my point is..you dont really need a lot of money to have fun?
I will have fun having sex, playing videogames and watching master <3 my chowmeinzzz yayyzzz
I pick August 26-28th because my parents will be going to newyork!
they leave august 25th at 11:30am and come back august 29th at 11:54Pm ^_^
So picking 26-28th is just perfect <3
plus my twin brother wants to sleepover at his girlfriends house, so we are both covering for each other :P
Master goes back to school next week wensday the 24th..That week will be lots of homework for him..
But, me coming doesnt get in the way!
I leave sunday MORNING ^_^ and come friday NIGHT
meaning...he has all day sunday to do homework and all afternoon friday to do homework?
and if he wishes to do homework satuday, thats fine!~ me+Rossy can play games :D '
or maybe..he can do homework while I suck his cock? ^_^
pratice makes perfect!~!
I haven't excactly mentioned this idea to Master yet...
He is in class...but after class ends, after he is done resting, after he is done eating...then I will ask him about it...
but I am scared of karma?
everytime karma screws us over >_< ahzzzz
why can't I meet the person I want to see the mostest!~
nono I will deff meet him this time <3
I wonder what a kiss feels like?
I wonder how his warm hug will feel?
I wonder...what it feels like to cuddle?
all these things I wonder makes me giggle  like a little schoolgirl..
am I so unexpirenced? xD
I want to eat chowmein on the patio, looking at the stars cuddling under a blanket...
I want to take soo many picturez with his super expensive camera..
I know, he wont ever post these pictures on facebook..but, I still want to take them memories of that perfect night <3

The more I think about seeing him next week, the more worried I get about myself..
Ahh...I am breaking out..
mm..I wish my teeth were whiter..
ahhzz what if my hair is too short...
what if he doesnt like the way my hair feels?
what if my legs are too gross?
what if my stretch marks disgust him?
what if...I am too fat?
what if..he isnt the person he said he is?
what if he does drugs?
what if he has a pet snake?
what if he doesnt like me?
what if...........................
lol it goes on forever ^_^
actually..Master rates girls all the times, but I never ask him ro rate me lol
if the ranking is too high then its rigged if the ranking is too low then I am not suitable >_<
I wish I was super hot...
coming to meet him  is not the problem, it is almost flawless plan..every X variable has been covered and every Y variable has been covered..even the random Z variable is secured..but
now the problem is  just confidence..am I confident enough to go looking like this?
am I confident enough to go knowing I am not the type of person he wishes to kiss?

Maybe, Just, Maybe

Awesome, I am back from my trip to Jamaica!
Jamiaca, woah, that trip changed me a lot.
Going to Jamaica, I begun to appreciate my life more, and appreciate the luxaires of simple things, like a clean room, cold aircondition!
Jamaica, is like the pictures you see on the TV, but thats only about 1% of Jamaica.
The parts you see on TV, is just the beach (which is beautiful, when not poulted!)
I thought about my life with Master a lot!
Somehow, I feel like oppa did not miss me, I feel so foolish for sending email capsules.
Oppa, he promised that the day I come back, we can talk on the phone for a long time!
Everytime I missed him, everytime shit happened, everytime, without fail I thought 6 more days to phone call..5 more days to phone call... 4 more days etc. until it reached 1 more hour. When that one hour passed, I was told, maybe tomarrow.
I was sad, but I had no right to be sad
I just masturbated and went to sleep, yea--maybe tomarrow.
I want to tell oppa everything, but, I think he perfers my emails/pictures compared to my voice.
If I am not talking about CQ or happiness, I fear he won't listen.
It's not fair, this relationship is never fair, but...
I studied hard today, I couldn't wait to tell oppa, but he wont listen..
I miss Hawaii, he listened to me even if I had nothing to say..
Erick, Hawaii, Dan and the other deadweights, all day they would listen to me, even if I broke their hearts a thousand times, they allways listened.
I really hate when I blog like katie, but, today I just feel like Katie.
When I feel like katie, and I look at this relationship, mmm It's just a bit strange.
Oppa, I can't understand him, why is oppa like this?
Why is oppa so stupid and so smart at the same time (-_-)
Why am I so stupid...
then when I am Kitty and I look at this relationship it is just perfect, everything I wanted, everything I could wish for!~ just perfect.
Oppa, is busy for the next 2 weeks
Maybe, just maybe........