Dr.Feelgood

Sucess is never final failure is never fatal

For some reason that quote is in my head back and forth back and forth...
Being a dom in the past I know that many slaves wish to be a live in slave full time just like the porn stars? or the stories..such great fantasies but many people who actually want that lifestyle are not serious its juust something to occupy their mind for a small time pondering about what life would be like as a real live in slave I'm so perplexed about writing about the qualities that a slave should have

but as I was pondering I came across a problem is it really that important the qualities that a slave has? would the qualities that a master have be more important? A Master has the power and ability to mold anything that he wants he can mold any quality...

So the question is... if you have a bad slave that can not respond to orders or is annoying or is just zzzz who's fault is it? the slave or the Master or should they both take responcibility?

Expirence is also something that comes into play when you think about sculpting yourself a slave that fits you
It's impossiable to sculpt something great on your first try or your second try and life is not like a textbook just because you read every book or every post about cultivating a slave it does not improve your chances of maybe sculpting a good slave on the first try soo the best way to cultivate a slave? Thats something im still thinking about (-_-;)

I am doing studying for testing like always!~~ and I seem to always get stuck on questions regarding accounting or like marketing things about if someone buys something or some intrest crap @_@ wtf? do we learn these things in school even though its hard I am continuing my studies :D Master told me that I can ask him questions at any timme xD but I dont really wanna ask him questions lol but I am going to wait till he has a large amount of free time to waste to ask him questions ^_^ my questions should be as simple to him I mean he is an accounting major I wonder how I can be so bad at accounting when my Master majors in that area XD

I rather call Master Opppa instead of boyfriend xD although I rather call my Master master then oppa? so simple way to look at it..
MasterOppaMaster
But lets compare which sounds more cute?
OPPA!~~ LOOK LOOK!
Master!!~ LOOK LOOK!
Oppa won for the cute factor..

Kitty Is he your boyfriend? No he is my oppa ^_^
how come facebook does not have a Oppa option??
even if it did have an oppa option I dont think I would want to be on his facebook relationship lol for a LONG time xD he has like 500 friends how weird is that 500 people know that me and master are like...together??
I'm happy just like this!~ happy with my master by myself
happy giggling about Oppa!~
I actually Made a surprice for Master but I did not give it to him I guess you could say im nervous? I made it online super cute ^_^

I think sometimes my Master pms's and then boys complain that girls PMS girls must deal with the boy version of PMS also~!

Stalking masters facebook I uncover a lot of things but I found more things that I wish I never found some of the things I found I really wanted to uncover by myself?not just read about it on facebook lol.. I think im done looking at his profile for a long time


Am I a slut for wanting to be on a girls gone wild kinda porn star thing :p With my big boobs and great body I would look nice? rightt!~?
mm...am I a slut? maybe I shall ponder that question next post

(ahahaha Kpop tittle refrence for my blog )

12 moons

An authentic slave is a wonderful thing to own.

I think it would be such a nice thing to own sometimes I Wonder what would life be like if I were master having a slave that i can mold into ANYTHING where would i even start....

I want to give 200% percent effort towards master and before I do so I need to consider a few factors..
1.Is this the guy im willing to risk my life for?
2.Is the relationship worth it?
3.Can Master mentally handel this sort of relationship

So while deeply searching for answers I am rereading old skype messages from the past just to see generally his goals and how serious he is about a real true slavery relationship and i stumbled apon some messages by his ex about some emotional baggages master has
I did not really care at the time when she told me... but as I was reading now I noticed that all the things she told me was true except for one big emotionall bacggage...I asked Master if he would tell me anythimg important about himself and he said he would...I trust him but I cant help but wonder how much truth is in her messages she did know/date him for 2years....I doubt master would ever talk to me aboout someething big about him that I Should know hes so secretive but for whatever reasoe...I want to quickly come to a conclusion so i can put all my effort into this relationship with all my heart :) right now im giving a lot but I really want to commit to going above and beyond anyones expectations I hope i find answers to unanswered questions!~!

Rainbow

Slowly uncovering Masters true feelings is a long path I think I have uncovered one more clue to peicing togethers masters mind..Maybe at the end of my discovery I will hit gold and discover something that nobody knows?? whats the chances...? Sometimes I think i would be a great at anaylizing situations and people mostly because its so much fun I love it ^_^ Master is like a big puzzle and i love every second?
Master has a special definition of love which you can read about if you look back ;)
So does that mean that master doesnt love easily? Master was dating a girl for 2 years mm... I might get upset if someone dates me for longer then 4 years and does not poop the question -_- like reallly..... >_< but back to the topic I think master has gates around his heart maybe something happened to him and so now he wants to be carefull of who he lets get close to him? how many gates does he have im not sure...how tall are they? im not really sure...I don't have any evidence to support that master is protecting his heart...I just have a feeling

Me and Master will have our chance right? I just need to wait for it...waiting drives me crazy!~~~ I can't wait I quickly want to be by his side but I must admit I would be really sad if he moved to cali before I moved with him =/ I would truly feel alone and feel the HUUUUGE distance/tiome zone gap..PLUS i always wanted me and master to move to cali together who knows what will happen..

I feel like A clay with Master willing to shape into any form he wishes I decided that I would get a legal name change for my middle name to any name master wishes but I would only get the name change BEFORE medical school and BEFORE I get my EMT licence haha two conditions is not that bad :p?? Im the best slave ever ^_^!~ Maybe im the best slave ever because I'm crazy??? everything that master wanted in the begining of our relationship he got..Master wanted a slave with peircings a slave who will change their name a slave who will get boobies and many many many many other wishes that I was unsure about but now why do I feel like I want to give Master the world? I've never felt this way before maybe I really am going crazy??

Master wants to "break me in" with some heavy bdsm when we first meet I'm scared that instead of breaking me in it will break me down :p LOL and create me being scared of master to the point where I cant continue as a slave? idk this relationship needs communication XD

Blogging happily I want to always be like this!~ happily bloggingd and smiling about master happily!~

It feels weird if i say onew oppa.. onew oppa used to come out of my mouth so easily but now I cant even say onew oppa..My oppa is not onew its Master ^_^ oppa is so cute when hes tired :) his sleepy voice makes me giggle so much I always giggle talking to oppa I bet its weird but I think oppa got used to giggles lol when I dont giggle he thinks something is wrong :p lol Master I love you <3<3<3<3

Mesurments...

How did master get suchh a great girlfriend/slave ahhh I'm jealous :p
Masters girlfriend is supper faithful even if she only recieves few messages :p
She also goes to the gym everyyday!~ even if master won't notice because he never goes on webcam :p
She also studies everyday in hopes of getting high scores!~
She does alll his assignments even the boring ones!
She's even willing to be a bimbo or anything master wishes!
Did you know she speaks chinese also! (Lol jkjk)
She is a little bit childish...but its cute
Sometimes she appears too babyish but its also cute!
And maybe she likes asian culture too much...XD
And she loves to hear her master sing I need a girl yayyy!~ (I need a girl mmmhmm gotta make you mine I will treat you right baby!~~~~~~ ahh!~)
Masters girlfriend/slave is the best don't you think!? :D
Its hard finding good slaves...but its even harder to find slaves willing to make the relationship work even if it means stuying a little harder or working out in gym I would know since I used to be a dom hehehe

Master gave me 2 assignments I will moify it slightly so I can complete it was such a broad subject it was hard to write on...master also said he wante to know more about me heh now that I think about it... he has a lot to catch up on rofl I shhall completle assignment later today

Working out the gym is fun I might be addicted I like going everyyy day I guess I look forward to gong to the gym now uhm gym addiction? The feeling after gym the Best! Can't wait to get to masters surprice goal
My waist has dropped by one inch used to be 34inch now its 33.5...I think......

cyber

I never ever ever ever go on fetlife today I get an email asking if the perfect asian boy exsist for a short second I wonered if I should post or not but for whatever reason I was bored so I posted master as the perfect asian boy (duhh) master is perfect :D then 2 posts down this girl describes her perfect asian boy and it fits master almost perfectly lol I felt so happy someone wants the perfect asian boy heheh I giggled with delight I've captured the perfe t asian boy :D a couple other people posted about asian boys I hope master posts how epic would that be a long paragraph of something like the perfect asian boy doesn't exsisit :p orrr maybe master should apply for the part of the perfect asian boy! Lol master is so epically awesome ahhh...
When I was a kid my parents were paranoi about kidnapping I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers or go to sleepovers or go to malls or movies with friends etc. But I had fun I joined ballet,jazz,soccer,cheerleading and girls scouts it was fun j was interacting socially but not creating any long lasting friendships....I. had a lot of fun playing with my. Imigination and when I got older I started learning html and then becoming heavy scripter..knowing all the color codes and random shit then I started doing graphics...and now here I am today doing a medical animation its funny how life works out my childhood expirence enabled me to hold my own...use my creativity and learned some cool skills its not something id want my kids to do but whenever I tell someone my childhood they feel bad when really I learned some skills that some people will never learn or even master
I didn't talk to master from sat-wensdayishhh well a lil Sunday...master really missed me I'm surpriced I don't really expect any affectionate emotions.

Naomi

This is my 84th post
My last post
Well it should be my last post
Everything says I need to stop this relationship but my heart it just won't stop...
When did I start to really love this boy?
How did it start?
I just remember loving him only bc he's a cute little asian boy but now I see omething about him is so special...his heart his soul its so special and strangly I feel like we have the ablity to connect if we really wanted too..
I take special pride in my accomplishments of slowly figuring him out I just started but I feel like I've got a lot of the fundamentals down many other smart people might have him all figured out already... being patient is so important I patiently day by day collect information...today me and master had many brekup talks..I must admit I cried a lot whenever I thought it was over...I don't want to be weak but I feel weak in front of master..he's number 1 in my heart in everything no matter what he thinks..theirs a quote.."if you love someone let them go" I love master but I can't let him go am I selfish? Or does that mean I don't love him?
I signed up for gym...
I study standard testing everyday hard I will get a high score...
Master added me on fb but Idk if ill accept..do I have the rights to accept?
Will people wonder about me if I accept...maybe I shouldn't accept...
In my head I have a monster its name is mandarin
It started off as a small monster but now its a huge monster driving me crazy making me go crazy and causing me to moo swing and cry horriable monster but atleast mandarin is a cute name

Sweet and sour pork

Theirs a quote by beethoven....
"Only the pure of heart can make good soup"
If master was a soup what would he be....
A.chicken chowmein soup!
I need more time to think on his soup -_- but I. Would like chicken chowmein soup yunnn

I have a list of turnoffs (doesn't every girl) master doesn't fit any of the turn offs except one I feel that he cares about what others thinks about him and I don't care what others think about me if I want to sing my fav korean songin public I will -_- if I want to dance in the rain sure why not? At my school everyone has mixed opinions about me and to br frank I don't give a fuck -_- why does it mater what other people think are they that important? @_@ I understand with being so young master doesn't like telling everyone about me but I've noticed other random things hs worried about. How people percieve is it really that important to him?

My friend joppi "expert on love" she thinks master isn't suited for me and warns me daily of the dangers o.o its a rocky zone I know @_@ she doesn't think ill fit in with his family I can't speak the lang yet..I can't cook chinese my knowlodge on te culture is quite average and everyone incluing master would reject me socially in the culture...yeaa maybe she's crazy but I hate hearing that everyyday theirs some truths to it I have a seriouus problem with secondguessing myself but for once in ever I don't want to second guess I don't want to give up to allow another girl to steal master -_- I need to workout more! I finished my high heel training I walk great in 6inch heels..but it hurts like hell after I'm done walking

I'm conssidering taking some massage therapy classes! If I start now I can get all the bs classes done and then next year 2012 I could be seriously taking the course for massages and what not..I. like the idea of alternative medicine like aroma therapy,music therapy etc etc. Master he suffers from backpains a lot I think he needs massage therapy! Maybe getting this therapy from a hot bimbo will make him get better faster!

It sucks because I want to do soo many things I want to learn chinese,cantonese be a paramedic learn massage therapy be a nail tech go to medical school and be a doctor @_@ I'm going to be dead broke if I don't cross something off my list
Why can't I just live off of ramen noodles and do everything? When I become a doctor I can do my patients nails,be a doctor in china or communicate with chinese patients :p super doctor? Actually I worry I won't be a good doctor I don't think I possess the personality traits needed I have the passion! So hopefully ill gain the personality traits I need soon!

Master is going to sanfran this summer I hate time zones. Hopefully he finds a job in sanfran I'm really applying for colleges all over north florida and one school sanfran XD

Yesterday I was really sad I was in the mall and I started to cry omg ~_~
Master called to cheer me up but he did a mediocore job
It was like the whole call I was like..kill me kill me kill me kill me @_@ well not the whole call but like a nice portion
But master always makes me laugh I'm happy he can make me laugh

Sometmes I love being with master hell most of the time I feel like that
But sometimes I hate being with master and feel like he's making me go insane
And then theirs those random times when I love and hate it (like today)
I love being with master and hate being with master (not because his personality or anything I just don't think. I'm. Contributing mentally to the relationship XD not mentally but socially not socially by SOULy ughhh too late to be writing a blog post omg )
And then those days I feel so confused and selfish..selfish because I refuse to give up and keep trying even if I always fail espicyl at cooking
Oh gosh cooking -_- one day I'm going to be a great cook and cook for yyi and alllll his friends I won't give up! :D
Ill never give up on chinese cooking or master no matter is master hates talking about the bestest gf in the world who never fails to wake him up or to send him away with a cute email and never fails to put a smiele on his face!and if. I struggle with cantonese I won't give up either :D giving up is not an option only success!

yiyi soup

Ahh...why does it feel *this* good to be in love :D? Hahah it feels like I'm on the best rollar coaster ever..a rollar coaster with ups and downs and twist and turns and lots of silicone boobies yea that's my coaster wanna take a ride? XD welll that's too bad cuz the coaster only has 2 seats one for kitty an one for master

Today in japanese class a girl I told about my bdsm life she asked me well why is your name kitty? Do you meow? Does he pet you? Are you being trained into a cat!!? @_@ and I laughed soo hard I think my master has petted me like once I think id perfer a kiss then a pet..but then again I love anything and everything from master actually the only reason wh y my name is kitty is because I like hello kitty so my master he wanted to be able say hello,kitty my master is so silly :D
lol

Sometimes whenever I date someone no matter who they are I wonder...how do I know this is the "one" especially relationships like master that could result in marriage it would be horriable to waste his time @_@ but anyways how would you know this person is your soul mate there's 1.3 billion people in china.. maybe your soulmate is hiding in china? Is it stupid to worry about you soul mate hiding in china @_@ me and master aren't soul mates honestly I think I already know master soulmate mmmm should I keep such classified info to myself? Even though me and master are not soul mates I like him super much :D our love storry is like the asian drama :D ok...I know life isn't like a drama...
Oo let's make a drama out of me and masters love story!


Ai Yoshida koogyoo kabushikigaisha
Is the tittle! Yes I named it after a zipper compant -_- zippers of LOVE

Today master showed me his friend picture yiyi I told master his friend is so so so so so so so so smart looking haha I know master thought I wanted to say cute lol he's cute but he's not like smoking hot like master if that makes any sense @_@

Master has cute friends I would not mind fucking his friends if he allowed but my worry with fucking his friends is..I'm pretty sure during sex I'm going to be screaming master lol his friends will be like- yeahh...I had sex with kitty.......yeaaaa...she started screaming master @_@ lol

Everything that master has taught me so far he taught my many maath equations and vocab words and chinese XD I cant believe I remember everything its weird...altho I must admit I always forget small details like his fav color (black) or other random things XD but the point is because I remember what he teaches me do you think ill be amazing in sex? Master teaches me how he likes it and ill alwayyys remember :p

I've been studying quite hard for standard testings I'm so happy and proud of myself :D 2hrs a day 7 days a week for a total of 14 hours of studying a week XD its gonna be hard to continue that pattern till october lol I'm working hard and so is master :D

YiYi

Lately I've been doing some deep thinking just a bit curious about well everything
And one thing that really botheredd me was that I'm so young and so far I have not yet participated in an activity that helps a greater cause and I helped that cause with all my heart actively happily working to be a part of something bigger then myself...so I was reading the news online and there is an organization called students help rebuild its a project with a huge emphesis on haiti but because of the recent japan issue they have some things you can do for japan! One of those things is making cranes each crane you make and send it the organization will donate two dollars so just making 5 cranes you have just raised 10usd for japan!! So far I raised 40usd for japan and I'm still making cranes!!~I hope to make 200 cranes and raise 400usd but I've got my friends involved also and they also wish to help japan maybe we wll have a total of 400 cranes raising 800usd? But deadline is quickly approaching....I need to find something that I'm really passionate about other then obstetric fistula and organ donation a lot of my friends are applying for volunteer things just so it would look nice on a paper is it wrong to look for something I want to do? Other then just do it because I have too? This society can be so twisted when I volunteer I want people to see my true passionate emotions about helping not just view me as someone who only needs it for school or a class or something...
Before I met master I never really thought deeply
I also find I can easily arrange my ideas for arguments I steal tips from master thanks master :D
I watch and read the news more without forcing myself but I started watching the news without noticing and started reading without noticing...and now I cant go a day without watching the news
But I gues the worst part of everything that chhanged since meeting master is I look at boobs too much :o I wonder if its real I wonder if master would like it etc. Ahhh too much boobies I need my own fake boobies!
Master has made such a weird impact on my life..the other day someone asked me what has my master done for me he never gives tasks he only gives out essays but now that I think on it my master has given me more then anyone else ever could :D
But now I feel bad because I never gave him anything except maybe a little brush up on his korean and chinese haha :D what does XXXX mean in chinese? And he will be like ughhh hahaha

wo ai ni my fucking ass

I'm mad to the point that I fear I might implode I'm mad to the extent that I fear I won't be able to make a complete sentence -_- and I can't believe I'm this mad at my master the person who I faithfuly submit to...
Well why are you mad...?
I had a medical competition last weekend I worked hard tried my best etc etc. And I anxiously waited for results when I foun out I did not win I was sad I told maser the only comforting words he told me was awww and booo...really? The only things you could say was awwe and boo...not even try to give me a hug or try to call or maybe atleast pretend you cared somewhat? I went out to hooters and idley stuffed my face with food not giving a fuck about dieting or whatever. In my head I wonder well what if he was busy or with his friends or any other circumstance even if that was the case he could have left a small message master he says he loves me I dont think so master makes me go crazy ~_~ I just want to be the best bimbo I just ant to be his...but how come my master can't even fufill his duty as a master? In my dreams..in my asian dramas its never like this why does it turn out like this? I thought me and master were supposed to last forever but why are cracks showing up in our relationship so quickly? I did all my assignments I tried to workout my boobs are getting bigger and I did everything he has asked without complaints or concers..I've always been here for master but how come my master can't even fuffil the small duties of being a master? The smallest thing a master should do and is supposed to do is to care for his slave physically emotionaly and mentally..bdsm ts a strong bond of love he's also my boyfriend the love should be burning hot but why did I feel so alone the time I wanted him the most?did I do something wrong to be alone when all I wanted was him? I keep thinking welll what if I did my assignment quicker or used better grammar or if I was blonde or if I was skinnier or if I was everything but me then maybe master wouldn't have left me alone these things keep circling in my head..... If it was him who had lost I would be there for him..I'm always there for master when he's hungry when he's tired when he boards plane when he exits planes when he needs to study when he needs to think "alone" but how come the first time I needed master I couldn't get him?am I too selfish to want master just once? I try hard to not be needy but just this once I wanted to be needy and lean on master...but it turns out hooters burgers and fries were more helpful then my master who loves me thanks hooters